February 17, 2021

Help Team Members Be Accountable

February 17, 2021/ Bruce Mayhew

It’s no fun following up with others to make sure they are being accountable and doing what they agreed to. The thing is, it is near impossible to force someone to consistently produce top quality results. If their commitment level is average, people will usually do their J.O.B. and not much more. But what if your team members chose to be accountable? I believe two things that make this possible:

We all want to be respected, proud of our work and know our contribution is making a difference.
Most leaders want to be great leaders but have never learned how, and worse they may have unintentionally learned poor leadership skills.

In this article I share opportunities leaders can use to help team members be accountable, feel respected, proud and so much more.

Accountability Overview

One of the most successful ways to help team members be accountable starts with creating a corporate culture people want to belong to. Over the years I have coached many leaders and written extensively on leadership and the value of intrinsic motivators. I’ve seen first-hand that even if your corporate culture is less than ideal, every leader can still create a high-functioning micro-culture of proud employees.

If you’ve followed my writing over the years you know I write extensively on leadership and intrinsic motivators. In studies I’ve ran as well as research by other professionals, the following three intrinsic motivators are at the top of the list and all encourage accountability:

Experiencing pride in our work and sense of accomplishment: Generates feelings of Achievement
Being noticed for our competence, creativity and / or for learning a valuable skill: Generates feelings of Recognition
Having impact and being relevant: Generates feelings of Responsibility / Making a Difference

So, how can we use these three motivators to inspire others and help them be accountable?

The following are six ways to help team members be accountable. As you read through the list consider that as a leader your work is less about being a ‘boss’ and far more about being a ‘coach’. As you move forward, imagine how you can have coaching conversations instead of performance review conversations, even though the topic or subject matter stays the same. Imagine how you can help each person on your team to be the best employee while they also achieve their personal and career goals?

Note: The following six opportunities I'm sharing are very real and very inexpensive motivators that help build a very loyal and very accountable team.

#1. Align people’s passion with their work

This means hire the right people for the right work. Far too often we hire or promote people who are the right people on paper but not the right people for the work. For example, if you are hiring someone for a customer service position, be sure they naturally demonstrate empathy as they communicate.

Use a standardized interview assessment process like a BEI (Behavioral Event Interview), to hire people who mesh well with your corporate culture and values and will also naturally feel a sense of pride and achievement from the work they will be doing.

#2. Know what motivates and inspires each employee

We are all unique and want different things. Some young employees may want relevant experiences and training while others may be starting a family and want job security and workplace flexibility. Some more senior employees may want more strategic responsibility while others may aspire to take on a mentoring role. The simple fact is that if we want to have great impact we shouldn’t treat or reward everyone the same way.

Of all the employees I’ve met, there is one common denominator; they want to work for an employer and a leader who respects them and who helps them be proud of what they accomplish.

#3. Be clear with expectations

Give employees a chance to discuss, influence and set their goals. By sharing what you expect and making them part of the discussion you are allowing them to take responsibility and accountability for their work. For example, perhaps they need additional training, or your support to get access to specific company resources; this allows the company to support them as much as they will support the company.

Be clear that when they want to talk through a problem with you that they should also bring a solution to discuss, and this should happen as soon as possible. When employees clearly know what the expectations, timelines and measurements of success are, surprises can be eliminated, their accountability can increase, and overall frustration can decrease.

After you have set expectations, continue to spend time with them at regular intervals to make sure you are both on the same page (see #5).

#4. Help employees understand the question ‘Why’?

When people know why their work is important, they are likely to be more accountable for getting it done on time and as expected. And, at a team level they will be more inclined to hold each other accountable.

For example, when someone knows the recommendations you asked for are going into the proposal for the CEO and that is why you need it on Monday, 99.9% of employees are going to be proud of who will be reading their work and will want to make sure you get it on time and with the detail you discussed.

This helps engage intrinsic goals like having influence and making a difference.

#5. Stay in touch

You may have information that will help them course correct toward their goals. At the same time they need to know you are there to provide guidance and to trust you will help them with (not blame them for), any challenges they may be having.

I used to have a boss that would keep information to himself. This made it impossible for the team to support the strategy which made our work less effective, created more waste and of course we were all very frustrated. Note: He also had a high employee turnover rate… and you can imagine why.

Often, knowing you are counting on them and you are there to support them will often help your team meet and even exceed your expectations.

#6. Recognize and celebrate their creativity and success

When your team deliver high quality work take a moment and recognize it - praise them immediately. During your check-ins make sure you are praising them for their good work. Recognition is one of the most important promoters of accountability for not only the project they are working on but their overall outlook such as being motivated to help their coworkers and add value in meetings which will even feed into their next project.

You can never be too busy to make sure people feel proud just like you can never be too busy to hold people accountable. When you see behaviour that is (or is not) in-line with expectations you have to respond immediately. Any delay diminishes the reward or adds to the damage being done… and damage to everyone’s motivation who is watching.

Conclusion:

Leaders have to look at accountability, motivation and reward in a different way than business traditionally has. And while change may be difficult at first, the beauty is that being able to help team members be accountable is like rolling a snowball down a hill. As trust and understanding build momentum quickly takes over and accountability has greater impact. As time goes by, employees also begin to hold themselves (and each other) accountable.

Note: Firing someone is not what I mean as holding people accountable; rather, helping Richard correct before the situation gets so bad you have to fire him is. As a leader you have to be ready, willing and able to quickly have respectful but difficult conversations. One example I have used in other articles is that if you ever find yourself or other people on your team say things like.

BONUS I: Why employees don't take responsibility / accountability:

I asked my friends and professional network why they thought employees don’t take responsibility / accountability. Here is the list we came up with. A big thanks to all of them… we are all better when we work together.

They don't know it's their responsibility.
They haven’t been held accountable in the past.
Transparency is low so they have a poor understanding of organizational goals and priorities.
They don't know 'Why?' a specific piece of work is important.
They don’t feel included or empowered to contribute their expertise.
They don’t feel part of the team… or important.
It isn't their job. They don’t see how the work relates to them.
If they are being asked to assist others they are never thanked… or given assistance when they need it.
They are unsure of expectations – unsure of what their boss wants.
They don't know how – they’ve not been trained (and perhaps not empowered).
They are treated differently (poorly) than their peers.
Their leader always reworks their work.
Their leader takes the all the glory and credit, but blames you and the team for mistakes or errors.
Their work is often ignored by their boss.
Their leader doesn't try to fix uncomfortable situations like when other employees consistently do not ‘pull their weight’
They never hear "you did well" or “thank you” or “great idea”.
They are frequently asked to work extra hours for their boss and/or company but made to feel guilty when they need time off.
They have far too much work for anyone to expect to handle… and more work unceremoniously added on.
Everything is treated like a crisis.
They are disheartened – they’ve been let down / unsupported by their boss and/or the company in the past.
Their leader is paralyzed with fear of making a decision or of looking like they are not ‘all knowing’ so make no decisions and don’t ask their team for their expertise or experience.

BONUS II: Hypothetical at-home example that accountability can’t be forced… especially accountability connected to quality:

Assume you are a parent of a teenager… or remember back to when you were one.

To earn their allowance one of your teenagers has agreed to fill and empty the dishwasher. Even though they also have a need for dishes (they do eat), they feel no pride in the job. They don’t like cooking, they don’t like mess and touching the wet, dirty, greasy dishes makes them want to immediately shower afterward. The result is they almost always have to be reminded and emptying the dishwasher often gets done last minute and increases everyone’s frustration.

You know that reminding them “It’s your job” followed by the silent intention of [and you get paid to do it] doesn’t make things better and is easily interpreted as a lightly veiled threat. And because their frustration is growing, when they do empty the dishwasher they don’t check to see if the dishes are clean (because cleaning the dishes isn’t their J.O.B.) which means from time to time you find knives with peanut butter residue and other dirty dishes.

The result is things just keep going from bad to worse. In the end they are going to quit, or you are going to take over – ultimately firing them. No matter how you look at this nothing good is coming from treating this task as a job and trying to force accountability. As I shared in #1 above, it seems you hired the wrong person for this task… and they will never feel this work is making an important difference.

Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about how you can help team members be accountable.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Bruce Mayhew Consulting specializes in customized Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences, Time Management Training and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

Bruce is an experienced motivational speaker in Toronto and has inspired audiences across Canada and within the USA and the UK. Bruce works hard to always make sure your training event, conference, retreat, or annual general meeting is a success.

February 11, 2021

How To Build Employee Commitment

February 11, 2021/ Bruce Mayhew

Employee commitment is one of the most important qualities leaders can cultivate with their team; it is a powerful asset - a multiplier of productivity, creativity and loyalty. The beauty is that people like you and me like to commit; committing makes us feel part of something important. But we will not commit if we feel we are being neglected, taken advantage of, abused, excluded, under-appreciated or lied to (I’m sure you can think of others to add to this list).

What Do I Mean By Commitment?

Commitment is built when people add their voice to a conversation or brainstorming meeting and their voice is respected and considered. Even if their idea didn’t make it into the final decision, because their voice was respected and valued during the process, they begin to fully invest in the decision the team made. This is an example of a strong corporate culture and how trust and healthy conflict lead to building employee commitment at work.

Studies prove there is a direct and measurable link between commitment and employee performance factors like transparency, creativity, productivity, work quality and turnover. For example, when employee commitment is high, turnover is almost always low while transparency, creativity, productivity and quality of work are high. When employee commitment is low, turnover is almost always high while most other measurement criteria are low.

Not surprising, without commitment the success of every project is in jeopardy. Because commitment is critical to success, it is important leaders cultivate commitment and know how to inspire the employees they support. Traditionally, companies focused on job security and money as primary motivators. While that approach may have been great in the 1950’s, it is not a great option with today’s four-generations of highly educated, multicultural employees working within a fast-paced global economy.

Diving Deeper Into How To Build Commitment

Let’s not even bother discussing the myth of job security in today’s economy. And, even though getting paid a fair wage is important, money is no longer a good motivator. Money and the hope of a raise 12 months from now have a poor track record at inspiring most people to do more than what is required to get a ‘meets expectations’ at their next annual review. Even bonuses quickly become expected and turn into what is called a ‘hygiene motivator’ (without it you would not be able to attract new employees and current employees would stop showing up). If you don’t agree, try eliminating bonuses and just watch your employee turnover increase exponentially while performance and employee morale drop like a stone. But all hope of building commitment is not lost, there are far more effective (and virtually free) motivators known as intrinsic motivators.

I introduce the top 10 motivators in my Leadership Training courses, but for the purpose of this article let me share the following top five intrinsic motivators that brilliantly build commitment and workplace excellence:

Being respected and valued at work
Doing interesting and challenging work
Professional development / opportunities
Achieving something / doing something important
Being given greater responsibility

Take a moment to let it sink in that ‘being respected and valued at work’ is frequently rated the #1 motivator to help build employee commitment. This is no surprise because everyone, no matter what work they do or how long they’ve been working want to be respected and valued. You know this is true because I am certain this is one of your key motivators.

Being respected and valued also ties into a basic human need to be ‘seen’ and ‘included’, to have our voices heard. It is our inborn and intrinsic desire to matter; we all want to make a difference. When you think of it, being respected and valued fits perfectly into any organizations plan to improve diversity and inclusion (D&I). Because intrinsic motivators are so important, let’s look at how both leaders and employees can use them to drive personal and professional success:

As a leader I believe one of our most important jobs is to learn - to be curious about which intrinsic motivators inspire each member of our team. Remember, people are individuals and everyone will be motivated by different things at different intensities. One person may be motivated by doing interesting and challenging work while another is motivated by professional development / opportunities.
As an employee I believe one of our most important jobs is to determine which motivators are most important to us and to then share that information with our leader; help our leader (and frankly other members of our team), inspire us. For example, perhaps you want greater responsibility and professional development opportunities because you want your career to grow. If this is you then make sure your leader knows and doesn’t have to guess at what your future ambitions are and how to help you / motivate you because they may think you are content with your position and therefore doing interesting and challenging work will keep you inspired and committed to excellence.

Live The Company Values:

As important as motivation is to cultivate commitment, leaders must also demonstrate integrity. One of the easiest ways I've found to do that is to live the company values. Two of the most important values I’ve discussed in previous articles that demonstrate how a leader can build commitment are:

To trust and be trustworthy (to be dependable)
Show respect (by giving everyone the opportunity to share ideas)

I believe these values (which are part of almost every organizations core value set), have a symbiotic relationship; you either have both or you have neither. For example, if an employee doesn’t trust their leader they will never freely share their ideas.

When it comes to gaining employee commitment to a plan, the best way to do this is to have each person add their unique expertise, education and lived experience to the solution. Employees have to trust each other and their leader to be honest, transparent, and respectful. It means not ever feeling attacked or made fun of when we share our ideas or experience. It also means that if my boss needs to share constructive feedback with me, I am confident I will be respected and can trust their feedback comes from a place of making me, the team, the project and the company better. Note: That feedback should also be timely - delivered as soon as possible within a private conversation.

For me, one other element is needed to cultivate commitment within a team. I have always found it important to create a workspace culture that helps employees learn about each other and from each other. I believe this familiarity reinforces the idea that we all have something to say and something to learn. Many professionals recommend activities that help employees discover what they have in common. I like those - but I also like activities that help employees learn what is different / unique about each other. I believe this helps them understand each other’s unique contribution potential.

When a team knows they can trust their leader and each-other, that is when they will do their best work… and feel proud an energized at the same time.

Conclusion:

Building commitment at work isn’t always easy but it’s a priority of every successful leader that I know. A conscious decision to build employee commitment really does make a difference. I’ve seen mediocre teams transform into high-performing teams in months when they got a new leader… and I’ve seen high-performing teams unravel in weeks when they got a poor leader.

One last observation about commitment (I did not want to scare you above). Commitment has many layers (holding back a reference to the children’s movie Shrek). I believe there are four key places where individuals channel our commitment.

Commitment to ourselves and our work (and our family / friends)
Commitment to our leader
Commitment to our team (or project teams)
Commitment to our company

For the purpose of this article, perhaps you don’t need to focus on these - what I’ve shared above might be the most important for now. But, do keep these four areas in the back of your mind. They may help explain behaviour as you see it unfold.

TRUST Bonus:

To build trust everyone has to understand what behaviour is appropriate and what is not appropriate…. and to be held accountable. For example, Alan Mulally (one of the most successful and celebrated leaders and former CEO of Boeing and Ford) has 11 Working Together Principles and Practices. Four of those are:

Everyone included
Clear performance goals
One plan
Respect, listen, help and appreciate each other

Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about employee commitment at work.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Thank you for stopping by.

February 08, 2021

Could Fear Of Conflict Be Holding Back Your Team?

February 08, 2021/ Bruce Mayhew

You can have conflict only when you have trust.

When I say, “you can have conflict only when you have trust”, I’m not meaning negative, vindictive, inappropriate, call the lawyers conflict. I mean sharing opposing views, challenging each other’s assumptions, opening your mind and encouraging yourself… and each other to grow conflict.

An essential ingredient of a proud and inclusive workspace is when employees, partners and suppliers don't fear conflict. They know they’re able to freely share each other’s experiences, knowledge and points of view and not worry about being attacked, mocked, ridiculed or worse. It’s exciting and empowering to be part of a team that’s committed to finding the best solution by sharing different ideas and being able to challenge each other’s assumptions, judgements and even beliefs from a place of respect and curiosity. That said, maybe the word ‘conflict’ isn’t the best word to use – it sounds negative; perhaps engagement is a better option. But because conflict is what Patrick Lencioni, founder of the Table Group and author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team calls it, we will stay with conflict for now.

Sharing Opposing Views And Making A Decision Can Get Loud

I think it’s fair to recognize that sharing opposing views and challenging each other’s assumptions can get a little loud (some workspaces, families and cultures embrace loud debate). Personally, I’m better with calm discussion, but if loud is your way then go for it… as long as that’s what everyone expects and they feel safe and respected. I also recommend always being aware of your surroundings for a few reasons. For example:

I urge you to stay aware of socially acceptable boundaries relating to colourful language and/or full-on inappropriate language (read your HR policies). Crossing over the socially acceptable line can cause you trouble even within a trusting relationship. We have to know what’s appropriate and what isn’t.
People won’t share if they feel intimidated by how everyone around them communicates. For example, introverts, new hires, suppliers and meeting guests may not understand what is going on if they are not familiar with your discussion and debate style (this goes for your at-home neighbours and people in the grocery store as well).

Whether we are speaking with someone or writing an email, I believe our primary goal should be sharing whenever we communicate. As a leader, I want to make the distinction that sharing our ideas and experience does not mean you or I have to change each other’s mind or beliefs. What is vital is that all voices are respected and we understand that challenging each other (conflict), is an important step toward collaboration and for us to honour our commitment to find a single clearly defined, measurable choice. When everyone has input, good things happen.

Conflict and Respect Within Difficult Conversations At Work

Hearing and respecting feedback, opinions, and even goals that are different than our own (like not getting a promotion we want) requires Vulnerability Trust. As I shared in a blogpost about trust at work, an example of Vulnerability Trust is when you and I feel safe saying something like “I am sorry, “I don’t know,” or “I made a mistake,” and we know we will still be treated with respect – not embarrassed or attacked.

Within healthy conflict, Vulnerability Trust strengthens our relationships as you and I experience first-hand we will not be attacked or made fool of. Using a workplace example, there is something pretty special when we can listen to our counterparts as they share honest feedback - and know (trust) it is coming from a place of support not malice or revenge. It often takes time to build trust in our team and our ability to have healthy conflict at work; it also requires we watch our triggers and our conscious and unconscious biases… especially concerning challenging news.

The one thing we really want to avoid is holding back constructive feedback because ‘we don’t want to hurt Richards feelings’. If we do hold back, what often happens is that instead of having a discussion we start making excuses, saying things like “It’s just the way Richard is”. If we hang that reputation on Richard without ever confronting him we are likely doing him a disservice that will have long-lasting negative implications on his career. Instead, choose to have a difficult conversation with Richard and respectfully share what you are experiencing / noticing. At that point Richard now has a choice to adjust or not, and what happens next is up to him.

Conclusion

Conflict is an important component within any highly functioning company or relationship. And, as I suggested above it is not meant as a fight or battle… but a commitment for two or more people to respectfully struggle as they discuss, debate, share and learn from each other.

For me, there is nothing quite like having a constructive debate. Using a personal example, in non-Covid times I always enjoyed having a few good friends over and to fall into a lively discussion on some in-the-news topic (usually over a glass or two of scotch). I find this a meaningful reflection of many workspaces because while we are great friends, we all very different in our age, backgrounds and careers. And yes, we have very different and very similar interpretations on things. It is invigorating and I always learn something from each encounter and / or I’m reminded how wonderful it is when someone gives me space – and respect to share my ideas.

So perhaps now that we are at the end of this article, this may be a better time to ask you, “could fear of conflict be holding back your team”?

When we listen we learn, and when we don’t listen we see what we want… not usually what is true or the ideal solution. As my wonderful friend Belinda Jackson recently said to me, “[It’s] always important for a leader to listen and to ask the team if there are ideas they want to share that can make the team stronger. If you want a team, you have to be a team player. Everyone has been in different situations and it is important to share ideas and to be open to hearing them.”

Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about conflict at work.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Thank you for stopping by.

February 02, 2021

Why Trust Matters and How To Build Trust At Work

February 02, 2021/ Bruce Mayhew

A productive team trusts each other.

Building a successful team takes self-awareness and courage; it also takes empathy, listening and trust.

Trust is when you can depend on something or someone… at least this is the definition I work with. Yes, this is a simple definition, but even so trust is often elusive… especially trust at work.

While doing research for this article I came across the following quote from D. Bowlby that stopped me cold because it's so amazingly relevant to a leader from my past I had to endure.

“If you do not trust your own judgments, actions, and decisions, you will question the motives of others."

Imagine the damage a leader can do to the morale and cohesion of a team when, instead of trusting recommendations as points for discussion, their own ego sees any and all recommendations as threats. In one particular instance I know of, the leader even went so far as to allege unsubstantiated workplace harassment and bullying against members of their senior team. This unfortunately is a real example that lead to months of stress, expense and long-term loss of income for the organization and the many people caught in the leaders loosely cast - ego driven net. Sadly, I am sure this scenario has played out many times in corporations and associations of all sizes.

There are many ways to destroy trust. For example, laughing at an idea or observation a fellow team member has is one of the most efficient ways to destroy trust… and show disrespect. Another is to cast aside recommendations using the age-old and exhausting excuse, “We tried that in the past and it didn’t work.” In my opinion, anyone who has lived through the last 12 months... never mind the last century should know nothing can be taken for granted, there are always lessons to be learned and whatever didn’t work yesterday might very well work today or in the future.

But enough of the negative; lets look at how to build trust on a team.

Patrick Lencioni, author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team and founder of the Table Group describes trust in two ways:

Predictive Trust
Vulnerability Based Trust

The following are my professional reflections of these two types of trust.

Predictive Trust is usually built over time – from experience. My interpretation of Predictive Trust is when I can count on (or predict) what you will say or do in a certain circumstance. For example: If my partner asks, “Do you want ice-cream?” he can trust I will say, “Yes please.”

Vulnerability Based Trust is when you and I feel safe saying something like “I don’t know,” “I made a mistake,” or “I am sorry” and we know we will still be treated with respect – not embarrassed or attacked. Vulnerability Trust means you can be in a meeting and suggest a course of action or idea and you will not fear you may be laughed at or mocked. I believe Vulnerability Trust is more personal – more tender.

Based on the Difficult Conversations training I do with clients, I would say Vulnerability Trust is also where someone can say to me, “You messed up” “You are letting the team down” or “I can’t give you what you want” and I will stay open and keep listening because I trust the other person is sharing information in good faith and likely for my benefit, even if it’s difficult / disappointing for me to hear. Vulnerability Trust is where two people can discuss sensitive topics and even disagree, but stay present and keep doing their best work, moving forward to find solutions instead of assigning blame to setbacks and gaps. It’s when team members can stay in discussion / dialogue without being defensive or shutting down.

How To Develop Productive Trustworthy Teams

To develop productive teams Patrick Lencioni believes leaders must intentionally nurture vulnerability and I 100% agree.

The following are two ways leaders can build trust within their team. Then, at the end of this article I quickly reference 11 more ways to create a safe, trusting workplace culture.

But before I go any further, I want to be perfectly clear that not all leaders have the title ‘leader’. In many big and small ways leadership responsibilities are often shared between co-workers depending on what is needed by the team and the project at that moment.

The quickest way to build vulnerability trust on a team is for the leader to demonstrate it. Otherwise, why would a team trust their leader if the leader never trusted or respected their team / team members? The best leaders quickly acknowledge when they need help and (equally importantly) their mistakes. Trusted leaders don't take control of every situation; they don't pretend they are all-knowing, and they don’t get ‘defensive’ when asked a question or given advice. Team members gain confidence when leaders are honest and respectful and demonstrate its ok to speak up when they have a question and/or an opinion. They start thinking things like “Since my leader is honest and up front with me, I can see it's OK for me to be honest and upfront with them,” and “There are things I can do and things I cannot do, the important thing is to ask each other for help.”
Another way for anyone to build vulnerability trust is to give credit to others. A trustworthy leader will not think twice before saying something like, “I know you have been working on this, and while I think you are doing well it’s a long journey and I do hope you stick with it,” or “I know bringing your concerns to me was not easy and I want to acknowledge that. I’m pleased we can be honest and open.”

Of course vulnerability trust also strengthens relationships between co-workers. The important thing to know is that this works… it really really works!

I’ve worked with leaders who show disconnected individuals how to trust each other, turning them into highly productive and highly loyal teams who have a renewed loyalty to each other and the organization.
I’ve seen great teams disintegrate when a great leader leaves and a weak leader replaces them. Recently leader I admire shared with me that in just over one year his previous team of 20 loyal, hard working professionals (who also found time to laugh with each other), experienced 100% turnover except for one person. Imagine!

11 Ways To Create A Safe, Trusting Workplace Culture

Here are 11 ways leaders and teams create a safe, trusting work culture (yes, some of these mean we have to be vulnerable… but if we are not willing to be, it sends a signal that others cannot be either):

Eliminate disparaging talk and gossip. We have to all feel safe and that we are being open, honest, respectful and respected.
Be transparent and honest about goals, challenges, news. Share ‘What’ and ‘Why’.
Know your preferred work style and strengths and take time to understand and appreciate another's work styles and strengths. Myers Brigs and SuccessFinder are two great tools to use, learn from and share with your team.
Take time to learn about each other but don’t push if people want to be more private than you.
Share your successes and also share your failures - this gives others permission to make mistakes
Admit when you are wrong, make mistakes and readily apologize.
Acknowledge and celebrate the successes of others.
Listen to others and take their advice – help them be proud by giving them credit for their ideas and experience.
Be willing to learn from each other. Leaders especially need to demonstrate they don’t know it all and are willing to learn from their team.
Don’t make assumptions about people’s behaviour or actions – watch your conscious and unconscious biases especially concerning challenging news.
Don’t hold grudges – deal with situations, learn from them and move on – be an example.

While trust is the main topic of this blog post, you may also be interested in a blog I wrote last year called 5 Stages of Team Development.

It takes courage and bravery to build trust… especially vulnerability trust. There will be times you wish you didn’t, but as Brené Brown says, “If you choose courage, you will absolutely know disappointment, setback and even heartbreak. That’s why we call it courage.” But I promise you, trusting yourself and others gives you a unique strength.

BONUS: Trust Helps When Hearing Bad News

We can begin to manage our defence triggers (fight & flight) when we know we are respected, supported and won’t be made a fool of. When we trust we learn to stay present and listen to unpleasant feedback or be part of decisions that, while they go against our personal or professional self-interest, we can still support because we know the decisions are made with honesty and in-line with the agreed upon goals.

Conclusion

While it is possible for great teams to form without a strong leader, the most productive, most loyal teams exist when a strong leader createsa safe, trusting, transparent workspace where team members feel they belong and are treated with dignity and respect. The beauty is, when you have trust you can have conflict. I don’t mean conflict like wars and fighting… I mean discussions, (perhaps even loud passionate discussions), but still discussions that show respect and appreciation.

To end, I want to leave you with this one thought. I wish I could remember where I read it and who to credit; I’m not even sure I am quoting it right, but here it goes, “You can’t trust when you have to sacrifice respectful honesty in order to protect and feed someone ego.” Please, don’t be the person with an ego that others have to protect.

Thank you for reading. I will enjoy hearing your comments, feedback and even examples about workplace culture, predictive trust and vulnerability trust.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach.

Thank you for stopping by.

December 21, 2020

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 1

December 21, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Nobody should be bullied, and the excuse of working in a high pressure / critical workspace is no excuse at all. Sadly, bullies of all shapes and sizes are actively throwing chaos, low morale and low productivity into even the calmest of workspaces.

Thank you in advance for wanting to explore this complex topic. This is Part 1 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.

A bully’s behavior is tolerated at work for many reasons. For example:

The bully appears to be a high-performer and therefore perceived to be valuable. But, while they may be winning big accounts, in addition to being a bully they may be alienating others and/or not sharing recognition. Truth is, the situations they create likely cost the company a fortune due to low morale of other employees as well as lower productivity, creativity and attention to detail. In addition, there is likely higher than average employee turnover and an overall negative impact on suppliers and customers.
Others around the bully may see the bully as a great way for them to ascend to a power or profit position. We see this often in politics, but it happens within the political sphere of business as well. While victims pile up, the enablers who are benefiting keep their heads down and quietly support the bully (or at least allow them to function) while hoping (with no guarantee) that their loyalty will keep them from becoming a victim.
The bully may be well cloaked, passing themselves off as a collaborator, an enlightened non-violent friend-of-all, meanwhile they consistently grab positions of power. As masters of passive aggressiveness and fearful of not being seen as ‘the expert’, their goal is to control situations by putting themselves at the center of every positive decision and far away from any shortcoming. Truth is, once you begin recognizing their behaviour, these bullies are easily spotted since they rarely make quick decisions to novel situations. Instead, they look to form a committee to working group.

What Makes A Bully Become A Bully?

Generally, many professionals who study workplace dynamics and bullies specifically say people are bullies for a few reasons. For example:

The bully craves power. Bullying is a habit that has worked for them in the past to help them get the power they desire. Often these people also feel inadequate (and insecure) and use bullying as a way to compensate and push high-value people away – again helping them look and feel good.
They feel success is a competition; a zero-sum-game and feel they have to always come out on top – as the winner. Because they see things through the lens of “If you win then I lose” or in other words, “If you have a good idea, I look less valuable” they feel threatened by others. This is often apparent for people who apply great value to hierarchy (in any of its many forms). They see others as competition instead of team members and attack them and/or their ideas, trying to tarnish their reputation or confidence.
The bully has suffered themselves, feels insecure and handles that badly. Consciously or unconsciously, they’ve learned over time that putting others down helps them feel better.
The bully is overwhelmed and sees power in knowledge, not leadership. Often this bully is cloaked as the collaborator, they are slow to make decisions, always looking for input from others. They become a bully-thief. When plans are put in place, they position themselves as the hero who orchestrated the solution and presents the final strategy.

Personally, for the last year I’ve been experiencing a particularly nasty combination of both bullying and passive aggressive behaviour from a (so called) leader. Fortunately, I was able to disconnect with relative ease – but the impact is still great. Even though I’ve distanced myself 100%... and if feels so good to get away, I’m also learning there is a long list of people who came before. And worse of all, there are many people who can’t get away so easily.

As I reflect on my own experience of being bullied I have to admit that even with all of my experience as a leader in a corporate world… even with all of the research I have done in relation to generational differences, communication, leadership and diversity, I did not see this one coming. In retrospect I realize I made excuses for the bully… excuses like:

They really didn’t mean it
I was misinterpreting their behaviour
They were on a steep learning curve
They were experiencing unprecedented situations (Covid-19)
They wanted my support as a coach so I should try harder and give them more opportunity.

Turns out, only #4 was true. They did mean it, I wasn’t misinterpreting their behaviour, they had no interest in learning or changing their approach and my support only tapped their insecurities even more – I assume because would have to admit they were not all knowing and all seeing (and no leader is).

What Happens When We Are Bullied?

Bullies are commonly found in leadership positions or some other position of authority. This often makes it difficult for victims and potential victims to get support; this is one reason people often stay silent when they feel they’ve been bullied. Unfortunately, this often empowers and emboldens the bully.

When we are bullied, victims feel increasing levels of stress, anxiety, fear, depression, high blood pressure, insecurity and often lower self-worth, especially when they stay silent. Even if victims quit their job to get away, victims usually carry their feelings of lower self-worth forward for years to come.

My personal experience is just another reminder that the best leader is the one who supports their team to share their expertise – not the one who is jealous of it or intimidated by it.

Either way – being bullied – or being a bully isn’t cool.

Conclusion:

Please continue exploring this topic in any and all ways possible. In my three articles I cover just the beginning of an important topic with many variabilities.

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 2: Explores Education And Setting Up Support Systems

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 3: Explores Bullying versus Performance Management

If you feel you want to talk to someone about an experience you’ve had or are having, don’t wait… there are many services where friendly and well-trained people are on hand. Just search online for something like ‘bullied conversation line’ and you will find many options. If your situation is not urgent and you believe I can help, please send me an email at bruce@brucemayhewconsulting.com

Thank you for reading.

Bruce

PERSONAL NOTE OF GRATITUDE: Thank you to the wonderful people who added to this article by discussing their experiences with me and making suggestions. You are some of the strongest - most courageous people I know. I am honoured to know you and you make the world around you a better place.

Thank you for stopping by.

December 21, 2020

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 2

December 21, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Nobody should be bullied at work and this is Part 2 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.

Thank you in advance for wanting to explore this complex topic.

As mentioned in Section I of this article, the situations bullies create cost the company a fortune due to low morale, low productivity and creativity as well as higher turnover. And, no matter what the cause, lower workplace satisfaction always has a long-term negative impact on customer satisfaction. Studies consistently show that great places to work often outperform average organizations. Glassdoor studies show on average, stocks of companies rated as ‘Best Places To Work’ earned 20.3 percent per year between 2009 and 2019, compared to 12.9 percent for the S&P 500. https://www.glassdoor.com/research/stock-returns-bptw-2020/

An Organization Must Be Proactive To Stand Against Bullying

We all hope we will be the exception and never have to deal with a bullying situation on our team. I hate to break it to you some day you will – and you will be lucky if it only happens once through your career. But careers are long and bullies are everywhere.

Education for everyone is the best first line of defence and it will support all other important initiatives you should take. As my dad would say, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” and in this situation he is right at both the organization level and team level.

1. Bullying Education

Don’t wait to see bullying to begin arranging anti-bullying education. There are as many nuances to bullying as there are colours, and what feels like bullying to one person can be completely acceptable to someone else.

Use education to make everyone aware of the signs of bullying. A thoughtful education plan makes sure everyone has a similar understanding of what bullying is. It also outlines the support resources that are available for themselves or for others if they feel they are watching someone else getting bullied.

Education begins to empower victims to take action and learn how address an issue. It also has the potential to disrupt issues early before they become big. And while I say this, I also have to point out three things:

Everyone must participate in education and participate in the exploration of what it is like to be a bully and what it is like to be bullied. It assumes everyone approach this topic with curiosity.
To have impact on someone who is a bully (or a potential bully), if education is going to help, the individual must also be self-aware. They have to realize they are responsible for their behaviour and for how they are seen by others. This won’t always happen and will often require a more direct approach.
Thirdly, help a bully (or potential bully), they have to want to not be one.

Note: Consider including this education within discussions about Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) to even further empower your team and balance your workspaces. Education should also be part of all on-boarding programs.

As part of the education program I believe it’s important to discuss how and why situations that may trigger one person may not trigger another. Different people have different communication styles resulting in one person’s actions being interpreted as aggressive. In this case, education is beneficial for both parties. Education also is important to stay open and mindful of others. For example, everyone can learn how and why their actions may evoke unexpected responses in others while at other times they may be unintentionally triggered by others who have a different communication style.

Education helps each of us recognize when we are triggered and to explore why and how we respond. This awareness helps us to have productive conversations early-on about expectations and how we are feeling which often results in building greater trust between individuals and teams.

It’s worth repeating that as everyone learns about what bullying looks like, it provides an opportunity for everyone self-reflect and recognise if our own actions may be perceived as bullying by someone else, even if their intentions are innocent. Two important things here. First, self-reflection isn’t guaranteed. Just because someone participating in this training doesn’t mean he or she recognizes their actions as being bullying or takes responsibility for them. Also, even if they do recognize the impact of their actions, they have to want to not be a bully. Some people will not want to let this go… or even know how to, especially if it has become part of their core personality and they think it has served them well in the past. The thing is, while they may think being a bully has paid off for them, they have way of knowing how successful they could have been if they were not seen as a bully, but instead seen as a supportive leader and honest, trustworthy collaborator.

This approach is important because it teaches everyone that we must all work together, recognizing, celebrating and giving room for each other’s unique individuality. To be clear, this is not a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card. Everyone must learn that they have a responsibility to their reputation and the health of the corporate culture.

2. Include Everyone In Defining, Updating And Reviewing Policies

I like to think of policies not as a ‘What To Do When’ reference but instead as a guideline that can adapt to meet the needs of specific situations. That said, policies should include three steps.

An agreement of how we should all behave and why. This should happen from a legal perspective. It’s also imperative policies consider the values of the organization. This step requires training & numerous discussions for all. This requires the organizations values are clearly defined (which in itself is an inclusive process that easily takes months).
Shared awareness that different people communicate in different ways, manage hierarchy and manage urgency. This includes recognition that how we communicate is both an instinctive and learned behaviour, shaped by many things including our family and cultural experiences / norms: This requires training & numerous discussions for all.
An agreement by all on how to approach conversations respectfully and how / where to escalate conversations in a safe and respectful way for everyone. Difficult conversation training also requires training & numerous discussions for all; the extra benefit is that this training is useful throughout our career.

Everyone should feel they are investing in the process; making sure it is understood and both safe to discuss situations in private with someone and an easy-to-follow process.

3. Set Up Allies For Victims: Different Avenues For Escalation / Discussion

Leadership will attract behaviour that is identified as bully behaviour. Leadership will also attract behaviour that is perceived as bullying, but it is not… it’s Performance Management (more on this below). But bully behaviour is not isolated at the leadership level; it’s estimated that close to 40% of incidence happen by peers or lower-level employees… and sometimes by customers or suppliers.

Because a leader may be the bully or the perceived bully, it may be impossible or uncomfortable for an employee to directly approach their leader. It’s therefore important there are trained individuals who can be the first line of discussion and potential escalation for people feeling bullied. At times, these individuals can be employees intentionally chosen from different levels of the organization. But, support outside of the organization is also a healthy idea, especially for smaller organizations.

These ‘Allies’ should have training that helps them recognize potential bully behaviour so they can be an impartial sounding board and emotional support. With that knowledge, these persons can begin to safely, confidentially and impartially guide the individual about the initial steps of discussion and escalation which may include coordinating with an internal or external professional who specializes in workplace investigation and mediation.

It is important that when a complaint is made, both the victim and the alleged bully deserve an impartial, confidential, objective investigation. In no way should a reprimand or behaviour coaching take place before this impartial step is completed.

The best resolutions to a confirmed bullying situation can be simple or complex. In some cases, the bully may not have noticed they are behaving badly – they may be acting exactly how they were raised – therefore demonstrating learned behaviour. On the other hand, a bully may know exactly what they are doing. Either way, they do need to recognize they are responsible for their behaviour and that their behaviour has to align with organizational values and policies. They also have to want to change.

A constructive solution will in all likelihood include sensitivity and possibly policy training for the bully. A solution will also likely require emotional support and professional coaching for all parties impacted – including those rightfully or wrongly accused. If training, arbitration and counselling doesn’t resolve a confirmed case, zero-tolerance must be the next step forward for the health and safety of all involved.

Conclusion:

Please continue exploring this topic in any and all ways possible. In my three articles I cover just the beginning of an important topic with many variabilities.

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 1: Explores What Is And Makes A Bully

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 3: Explores Bullying versus Performance Management

Thank you for reading.

Bruce

Thank you for stopping by.

December 21, 2020

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work: Part 3

December 21, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

This is Part 3 of my 3-part series I continue to explore how employees, leaders and organizations can approach important elements; specifically how to approach performance management. I have linked to the other two parts of this series at the end of this post.

Thank you for wanting to explore this complex topic.

Education Is Important

Education must be for everyone; nobody should be excluded. And, because bullying (or the appearance of bullying), is often found in leadership positions, I believe all leaders and potential leaders should take regular and refresher training. This can act as a prevention as well as help leader ‘stay fresh’ to this topic so they are always prepared whether a situation is raised or even if they are going to be having performance management discussions which often can be interpreted as bullying.

Recognize the Difference Between Performance Management Versus Bullying

Staying on top of performance management is more important than ever in today’s fast-paced business world where change is constant, and workforces are more remote.

One of the many key responsibilities of all leaders is performance management and is easily considered one of the fundamental ‘hard skills’ that exist for leaders. And while this is true, it’s important to recognize successful leaders fully engage their soft skills or emotional intelligence when delivering this often-sensitive information. Even opportunities for improvement should be delivered in a way that encourages individual’s and aligns with their personal goals as well as organizations goals. In fact, studies by world-renowned leadership researchers Zenger Folkman have positioned motivation and inspiration as the two most important leadership skills.

Four key purposes of performance management are to focus on:

Competitive advantage for the employee and the organization
Employee engagement and effectiveness
Employee professional development and confidence
Individual and team morale

Approached well performance management improves all aspects of an employee / employer relationship including building greater loyalty. Done poorly, performance management can be interpreted as bullying. Even if apparent bullying is directed to only one person, others will see and by association – experience it, and as this happens, they will also lose trust in the leader and avoid situations where they may become a target.

Consider a situation where an individual is not meeting expectations that have been previously discussed and agreed to. In this situation, two previous performance reviews have clearly and correctly identified performance gaps. These performance reviews have also included discussions to address opportunities for improvement. Because the individual continues to not meet expectations, it’s the leader’s responsibility to increase careful monitoring of performance. This increased attention will hopefully also include discussions about what other supports the employee may need – like additional training and/or coaching. A frequent challenge is the employee in question considers the additional attention a form of bullying.

Consider another situation many of us are experiencing now related to working remotely and the communication challenges we may not realize we are having. Many of us never realized the benefits in-person meetings and how even simple body language unconsciously helped us build trusting relationships and share important information. The potential difficulties and misunderstandings related to performance management communication in our socially distant, remote work-lives has increased exponentially. It’s increasingly common for employees (and leaders) to feel additional stress in this demanding, fast-paced and ever-changing environment and in-turn, interpret the actions of each other as bullying and/or as not being fully transparent.

No matter what the situation, managing expectations is critical by the leader as well as a level of self-awareness on how they may be interpreted. Let me repeat – leaders have to always be thinking about how they are being ‘seen’ via email, video chat and text message more than ever. And my believe that all of this responsibility should not all be hung on a leader’s shoulders. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence should also be expected from employees (and trained if necessary). That said, conversation is almost always the best first step in building a solution in either of these situations. And for this is where Allies discussed in point #3 will can be invaluable.

The Impact of Reverse Bias

One thing to be mindful of is the potential fear of leaders – especially leaders who have previously been wrongly identified as bullies. In these cases, they and the company may actually be suffering long-term consequences. Without the proper support and coaching for them, it’s not unusual for leaders to begin forming an unhealthy reverse bias situation where they fear being unjustly labeled as bullies, and therefore don’t identify performance management situations as they should.

We can all imagine how reverse bias has the potential to have serious negative impact from lowering the company’s ability to reach their strategic goals. If the leader feels unable to provide feedback, support and coaching to one or more employees, this could easily have negative impact the employees personal and professional growth and therefore future experience and potential.

I think we can all agree that as our workspaces become more complex, clear performance management guidelines that are supported and adhered to throughout the organization will be important to protect everyone.

Let’s explore some signs of disrespect / bullying versus performance management.

Disrespect / Bullying:

Intimidating, threatening, or humiliating someone.
Attacking something that can’t be changed:‘It’s a problem because you don’t have an accounting degree…’
Attacking the person not the behaviour or outcome: ‘The problem with you is…’
Being vague: ‘You need to improve your attention to detail…’
Exaggerating:‘You always/never/constantly…’
Intentional Exclusion: When someone intentionally and repeatedly excludes one or more people from a team or group.
Supporting gossip that may undermine a person’s character, trust and/or performance.
Keeping others off-balance. Perhaps changing the rules or goals halfway through a project or not sharing all of the important information (as I write this I recall a Director I had many years ago who did exactly this to the whole team).
Expecting behaviour and skill that has never been discussed or expected in the past.
Rarely (if ever) providing positive reinforcement.
Being passive aggressive and/or making comments targeted at destroying confidence and self-worth.
Gas-lighting using phrases like, ‘You’re overreacting. It wasn’t that bad’, or‘What an imagination – that never happened (or I never said that)’.The goal is to make their victim doubt what they have seen, experienced and/or know is true. More on Gas-lighting here
Alluding to gossip / side-stepping their own responsibility: ‘Everyone thinks you are not pulling your weight’
Losing emotional control: Disrespecting someone and/or their ideas by shouting, belittling, rolling eyes or laughing at them or a suggestion they made.
Physical bullying.

Performance Management:

Actions are objectively sound, consistent for all and documented.
All performance management meetings happen on-schedule to avoid the appearance of a surprise evaluation.
Employees receive clear Performance Standards and Key Performance Indicators, linked to the Performance Description.
Expectations should be in-line and in-scope with the agreed upon job responsibilities.
Performance should be in-line with previously discussed personal and career development.
Expectations and conversations are timely – both ways.
Are the employee’s skills being used in ways you have previously agreed?
Does the employee need any support from their manager in short or long-term?
Is the employee showing non-compliance with policies/procedures?
Is the employee acting inappropriately, being disruptive or demonstrating bad behaviour?
Management offers formal performance improvement plans in line with Performance Standards and Key Performance Indicators.
Management provides adequate support for individuals to reach the agreed standards.
Management must provide formal warnings for breaching policies, noting specifically which behaviours have breached.
Management prepares written minutes of all performance management meetings including formal written warnings when necessary.

Bullying Not Accepted

With all of the preparation we’ve discussed, this last step must be an ongoing step.

When bullying is confirmed it cannot be tolerated by anyone - from the most senior to the most junior… even when it seems to be working to our advantage.

If bullying is permitted that inaction will damage employ morale and trust throughout the organization and result in higher turnover, higher sick-leave, less creativity, lower productivity, more mistakes and waste and the list goes on and on which often quickly impacts customer satisfaction and profitability.

Politics is a good public example of how some individuals within a political party may do everything from passively tolerating bullying to actively encouraging it – all in an effort to maintain power/influence and/or their job. The one thing about situations where bullies are tolerated for this purpose, in all cases I can think of the bully (or bullies) eventually loses their foothold and fall from grace. And it usually doesn’t end there as the reputations of the people who supported the bully are also tarnished or ruined and/or the whole team, political party or company become collateral damage.

Now, this doesn’t mean when someone feels bullied that it has to be dealt in real-time. Depending on the situation and who is around, in-the-moment action might make things worse.

Taking some time to respond when an individual feel bullied also gives them time to explore their experience with a qualified individual as discussed in point #4 (Recognize the Difference Between Performance Management Versus Bullying). In a nutshell, don’t talk behind their back and risk starting the rumour mill because that in itself is a form of bullying. Also, if possible, don’t wait a few months or a year to raise concerns. By pausing and specking in private to qualified people, they may find out it may be one or more instances of miscommunication, or misinterpretation on their part, and by pausing has protected their reputation and perhaps that of others as well.

All of this may sound logical – and it is, however, it is also complicated. While this can be defined within procedures, actually living through this is emotional and sensitive… and therefore difficult. For these reasons transparency and timely actions are both essential components to experiencing great success with few challenges. For these reasons it is also essential that all staff’s expectations are managed, and everyone is trained to be able to recognize all of the nuances of this topic and to especially recognize the differences between performance management and bullying.

Conclusion:

Thank you for reading and exploring this important topic. If you haven’t yet and would like to read my first two articles in this series, here are the direct links.

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 1: Explores What Is And Makes A Bully

Nobody Should Be Bullied At Work Part 2: Explores Education And Setting Up Support Systems

I want to finish this series with a quote by Business Author Bob Chapman, “When 88% of the people who have jobs feel like they work for an organization that does not care for them, they do not feel valued. They feel used for someone’s else gain. In business, in politics, in our neighborhoods and communities, people are often not treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.”

If I ever thought leadership was in crisis, that statement stopped me in my tracks. What an opportunity for those who aspire and train to be great leaders - your competition is thin.

Thank you for reading.

Bruce

Thank you for stopping by.

November 11, 2020

Learn to write smarter and faster; Get more done while protecting your reputation.

November 11, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

“Copy is not written. Copy is assembled.” – Eugene Schwartz (copywriter).

Because most of the writing you and I do is email, I’m going to adjust Eugene Schwartz’s quote to be, “Great email isn’t written, it is assembled.”

None of us read email for the fun of it. Writing is never our goal – getting our work done is. Whenever we write our goal isn’t achieved until our reader understands what we said and/or does what we asked them to do. Unfortunately there are many obstacles in the way, especially when we write email. One obstacle we often forget is that our readers may not be expecting (or wanting) our message. Another obstacle may be our current reputation; if we have a history of being unclear or rude you can imagine our email are not going to get read quickly.

We fail when the email we write don’t get read, understood or acted upon. But, failure isn’t an option when we are at work. We ‘have’ tobe successful. And, because email is how we communicate 90% of the time, we ‘have’ to write. So, I believe the important question we must all ask is, “As writers, how do we assemble our email so that it cuts through all the other email, priorities and ever-increasing distractions our readers are experiencing?”

In this article I want to give you a fresh approach to writing smarter and faster and getting more done while protecting our reputation in three simple steps.

Assemble Step 1. Be Polite

Say Hello.

Before writing what we need our readers to know or do, just say ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’.

Saying ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’ is one of the best ways to grab someone’s attention. It’s also the best way to take the rude, abrupt and bossy feel out of your message. Readers notice (in a good way) when we say ‘Hi’. Why? Because saying ‘Hi’ is polite. If we don’t say ‘Hi’ it’s like storming into their office unannounced. #Rude

The exception I will offer you is that if you are writing with someone 20 times a day or more you can both agree to not do this because it will likely get annoying. But, still do it for your first email of the day.

Assemble Step 2. Don’t Make Writing Complicated

After saying hello, get-to-the-point in your first sentence. We all are busy and we don’t have the time or the interest to become a great novelist like Margaret Atwood or great copywriter like Eugene Schwartz.

To write great email we have to consider what information our reader already knows in our first sentence. Also, what new information might they need? Our readers will start skimming and we will lose their interest if we write about things they already know. You know this is true because you do it when you are bored by someone’s email. And, we will put them at a disadvantage and potentially delay them giving us the information we need if we don’t include the information they need.

Another tip to keep our writing simple is to keep flowery descriptions, complicated jargon and technical terms to a minimum. If we don’t, we are falling into a trap called ‘the curse of knowledge’ says Harvard psychologist, communication specialist and author Steven Pinker which he defines as“a difficulty in imagining what it is like for someone else not to know something that you know”.

Assemble Step 3. Write Sentences With Benefits First

To always get our email read, writers have to break a few habits as we learn to assemble our sentences starting with benefit first.

Look at that last sentence and how I structured it. I have put the ‘why’ first.

I could have written, “Writers have to break a few habits as we learn to write our sentence starting with benefits first in order to keep our readers interest.” While this second sentence generally works, we risk boring our readers with detail before we tell them ‘why’ that detail is important. And, if our readers get bored – they will move on. Unfortunately, most of us were taught in school to put information first and then follow with benefit and action item.

This is one of my favourite tips and it can be used in all your writing - not just email and instant messaging. So, don’t bore your readers; grab their attention and interest quickly. I do want to warn you, even though it sounds easy to do, it will require some practice and paying attention to your structure.

Conclusion:

Every time we write email or instant messages, we are adding or subtracting from our reputation and the reputation of our company. In addition, when our messages are misunderstood, not even read and/or when our tone is interpreted as bossy or angry, the result is that mistakes are made, time is wasted and expenses go up.

The importance of well-written / well-assembled communication is high.

So, before hitting ‘Send’ on your next email, take a moment to ask, “Am I addressing my readers needs and how likely is it that my reader will understand and be able to act on my message?” If your answers to these two questions are‘Yes’ and ‘Very Likely’ then you have done a great job of building a trusting relationship and accomplishing your key goals.

Thank you for stopping by.

October 21, 2020

Turn Conflict And Difficult Conversations Into Positive Experiences

October 21, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Employees are feeling disconnected and with many business engagements now taking place virtually these feelings are increasing and conflict is increasing. But lets take a moment to notice that not all conflict is bad - and look at when it does happen how can we manage it effectively.

I want to acknowledge the word ‘conflict’ has quite a broad definition. For this article I lean towards the definition from dictionary.com “verb: To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition”

With this definition in mind, what do you think of the idea that conflict is not only natural, but that conflict and difficult conversations can be signs of a healthy relationship?

We often think of conflict and difficult conversations as bad; something to avoid. But should we? Sometimes conflict leads to something good. I’m sure we can all remember a moment of conflict that lead to new and exciting opportunities that enriched our lives by challenging us to meet new people and do new things. For example, when I worked in banking, I can remember a promotion I didn’t get (and yes, I was disappointed and disagreed with my bosses decision), but that loss motivated me to explore even greater – challenging opportunities I couldn’t have imagined. Instead of shutting me down for the rest of my career, it activated me. What I once considered as terrible news and negative conflict, I now describe as good a positive experience because it helped me change in ways I am very proud of.

Conflict and Difficult Conversations.png

Changing Our Approach:

What if we began thinking of conflict as an opportunity for two people to explore each others opposing viewpoints or expectations versus ‘a need to win a fight or prolonged battle’? What if we started thinking of conflict and difficult conversations as being something that can be a force of good that can challenge us (perhaps both of us), to become better individuals?

This is what I would like to discuss. So, lets explore how can we turn conflict and difficult conversations into positive experiences.

Start With Connection:

Whether we are delivering or receiving challenging news, start with honoring our connection and our relationship with the other person. Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I shouldn’t respect you. But, if I let our difference of opinion shut down my ability to connect with you and discuss / learn from you then we both lose before we even begin.

We may be an introvert or extrovert, but either way we all thrive for some level of connection; it is how we are wired – humans want to be connected. So, whenever you have a conversation, especially a difficult conversation, I encourage you to be sure to talk with your heart – tap into your empathy. Be aware of:

What are you feeling?
What do you feel they are feeling?
What are you needing?
What are they needing?

Safety and respect are two of our strongest needs. So, if you are going to tell someone they didn’t get the promotion, instead of thinking to yourself “I’m going to have a bad morning. I have to tell Joe he didn’t get the promotion,” start with the approach“I want to make sure Joe feels safe in my presence and respected by me and the company.”

Whether we are giving or getting bad news, when you and I feel safe we are more likely to stay calm and think through difficult situations. Making a connection helps us stay present and be able to discuss options. You and I also know that when the body feels fear it goes into protection mode – fight or flight. This means biology starts taking over as we feel the rush of adrenaline. When the body doesn’t feel safe it’s a bad time to try to have a difficult conversation – our body is looking to protect us and to deal with the fear verses think logically through a situation.

To have a difficult conversation make sure everyone feels safe. If you both are working in an office, choose a private space where the other person won’t feel vulnerable and both of you can speak clearly without interruption or distraction. If working remotely, do the same. Another good option to help people feel safe is to consider your timing. For example, share difficult news early in the day when everyone is less likely to be physically and emotionally exhausted from their day.

Practice Your First Sentence:

Using the example above, the idea is to continue making sure Joe feels safe and respected and to try to reinforce your connection.

Empathy is important here. One recommendation I have is that it is OK to talk about emotion but don’t be emotional (i.e.: stay calm, don’t raise your voice).

A good first sentence might sound something like the following: “Joe, I’m sorry I have to share you didn’t get the job. I can see that this is disappointing.” You may want to pause here and see what Joe has to say. Alternatively, you can continue with something like, “Joe, while we didn’t think this was the best fit for you, I want to reinforce you are a valuable member of the team and I am glad you chose to put your name forward. It shows us you want more for yourself with the company. What I would like to do is now or later this week (if you would choose to do it later), is for us to look closer at your goals for the future and how I can support you.”

Sure, Joe is still going to be disappointed. But, he is also likely going to feel safe, respected and supported. And, you should expect that Joe is still going to want to talk about why he didn’t get the promotion, but he is more likely to be open to the news and future possibilities with this more supportive approach.

The most important thing you must do is ‘be authentic’. As I suggested earlier, don’t make this about you or the company. The wrong approach is saying something like, “I have to tell you and two other candidates you didn’t get the job. This is the worst part of my job and I am sorry I have to do this. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I feel so bad and if I could give you all the promotion I would, but I can’t.”

If Joe does get emotional because adrenaline kicked in, stay present and listen. If you stay calm it is likely Joe will calm down quickly… but if he doesn’t, take a break, invite Joe to stay in the room as you go get both of you a glass of water. If you need to take a break for a day or two, be sure to come back to the conversation. Stay open to what the other person is going through.

Conclusion:

Feelings of conflict mean that something is important to you and to others. If we didn’t care it would not be conflict or a difficult conversation. Let’s remember:

One of the best things we can know is to know we are being heard.
When people feel they are being heard they are going to be more open to compromise – or understanding. They will be more open to understanding ‘why’.

Lastly, we can do our best to set the stage for success, but in the end, we can only control ourselves. If the other person isn’t ready to have a difficult conversation, then there is nothing we can do – if we are trying to be kind and they only see hostility it is OK to know we are trying to do our best and that they may just need some time. Sometimes the best solution is to mindfully step away and return to the conversation a day or two later. Let’s just stay focused on what each of our goals are and what each of our needs are.

Life is messy. Let’s stay open and embrace it all.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed exploring how to turn conflict and difficult conversations into positive experiences.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

As a Corporate Trainer Bruce Mayhew (of BMC) specialize in customized Time Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

October 19, 2020

What Should We Do When We Feel A Lack Of Respect For Someone?

October 19, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Respect is an interesting, complicated thing, and it’s not one size fits all. The point I want to make is that very often we see respect as an absolute. We get caught up in the idea that, “If you don’t respect my idea or my work then you don’t respect me,” and that really doesn’t have to be the case at all… as I described in the four examples below.

Examples: we can:

Respect the person as a human, but not respect their authority or their suggestion or their idea.
Respect the company, but not the person we are engaging with from the company.
Respect how a person is trying to help us, but not the company.
Respect a person’s authority, but not their goals or tactics they use to achieve those goals.

And I’m sure you and I could easily continue adding to this list of examples if we were brainstorming examples.

So what should we do when we feel a lack of respect for someone?

The answer is both simple and complex. It’s so complex there are whole books written and specialists dedicated to only this topic. But let me give you a few steps to get the conversation moving in the right direction. This approach is often the starting point I use when I work with leaders to help them solve a respect challenge with their team or in their company.

Firstly, at the very least we should acknowledge we should be able to show a person respect as a human even if we don’t respect their achievements (or lack of), goals (or lack of), or values (or lack of).

Secondly, we should take a moment to consider where our feelings of respect and lack-of-respect are coming from. Looking inwardly to what we are feeling is always a good starting point in any and every situation including this one. What are we respecting and why (hopefully there is something)? What are we not respecting and why? Do we have an internal, learned bias that is getting in our own way? Might they have an internal, learned bias that is getting in their way?

This is a great exercise to go through (by yourself) for everyone in your inner circle. Take the time to point out what you do and don’t respect / appreciate / admire for those closest to you. It helps especially if find you are feeling negatively triggered by someone because it will help you control (be mindful of) your response.

Thirdly, is our lack of respect creating a barrier between us that is making the situation worse? It’s important to note that this is often the case. You know that when you feel negative energy from someone your own defences usually go up; which in turn often gets reflected back to them as negative energy from you. It is an unfortunate and vicious circle. It’s important to note at this point that whenever respect falters so does trust. When we don’t trust each other everything usually is much more difficult and take much longer. This in turn usually translates to being more expensive and less effective.

Lastly, having reflected on what and why we are feeling as well as what biases we are (or they may be) feeling, how might we be able to build respect and trust within this situation? Generally, there are two areas we can work on and they are:

What We Can Make Sure We Are Doing
What We Can Make Sure We Are Not Doing

Lets explore these two areas.

What We Can Make Sure We Are Doing

Whether we are a leader of a team or an equal member of a team, we can all take a leadership role and set an example through our own behaviour. So, even if we are not feeling respect we can strive to build it with others. To build respect with one or more people we can all practice the following:

Smile and say hello when we pass in the hall
Listen mindfully / with all of our attention in a meeting or conversation
Treat everyone equally
Encourage everyone to be their true, whole self and bring all of their experiences, education and perspective to every engagement
Be transparent with goals and tactics
Give people credit for their ideas… and use other peoples ideas (it can’t be ‘my way or the highway’)
Have a safe environment where people can make mistakes… and learn from those mistakes
Imagine what it’s like to be in someone elses shoes (display empathy)
Everyone can disagree and of course, still be civil and not feel threatened

I encourage you to add to this list because it is far from exhaustive.

The amazing thing is that people who feel respected are not only trusted and more creative, they are:

92% more focused
55% more engaged
61% more likely to embrace change
56% healthier (fewer sick days)
Over 100% more loyal (far less turnover)

Simply put, there are no downsides to having respectful relationships.

What We Can Make Sure We Are Not Doing

Again, whether we are a leader of a team or an equal part of a team, we can all take a leadership role and set an example through our own behaviour. So, how can we begin to build respectful, trusting relationships? The idea is to explore how to build relationships where everyone has an open, safe space where everyone can share ideas by not:

Mocking someone – publicly or privately
Teasing
Telling offensive jokes
Letting someone finish a sentence
Taking credit for someone else’s work
Texting in meetings
Making inappropriate advances
Putting up silos instead of being transparent
Always saying ‘No’ when asked to do something

As I said earlier, I encourage you to add to this list because it is far from exhaustive. But even better, do this with someone else or with your team. Have this and keep this as an open dialogue where you have open and safe dialogues.

If you have a challenging situation and are working to make it better, give it time. Conversations will help and are a sign of a healthy environment. You won’t be perfect at first, and neither will other people. And I dare say you will always make mistakes along the way. The solution isn’t to be perfect, the solution is to be aware of your actions and humble enough that you are able to help others have the confidence to talk with you about challenges or feelings they are having so they can be worked on early.

As I said at the beginning, respect is a simple and yet complex thing. It never happens when there is an environment of secrecy and where people can’t speak freely. As respect begins to grow it is like a seed planted, it will require care and attention and it will grow - seemingly slowly at first but before you know it, you will have a healthy, wonderful space filled with respect… and trust.

Thank you for reading.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

October 05, 2020

Creating a Multi-Generational Workplace Culture

October 05, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Everyone wants to know they are a valued part of the team regardless of what generation they belong to. And because generational differences of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z employees matter when creating a healthy multi-generational workplace, I thought I would take a moment to discuss how generational differences often influence the way your employees may or may not respond four important motivators.

I also want to point out that besides generational differences, there are many other variables including gender differences, ethnic and cultural differences, feelings of trust and respect that are also incredibly important when creating a healthy multi-generational workplace culture. But for now, lets explore how each generation may interpret and be inspired by the following four important opportunities:

Recognition
Autonomy
Coaching/Continuous Learning
Opportunity for Advancement

Additional Note: While the list above is not exhaustive, I have purposely not included salary in the above list. I do this because salary is considered a base trait – that as long as an individual is being paid fairly, monetary reward becomes a far less reliable and effective motivator. So, lets take money off the table and look at other ways to create a multi-generational workplace culture.

Recognition

Everyone enjoys recognition. And while Gen Zers and Millennials are used to frequent recognition and Gen Xers and Boomers are used to less frequent recognition, whether an individual prefers to be recognized in publicly versus more privately is often more dependent on if they are an introvert versus extrovert than what generation they belong to.

The great question is, “How frequently and how sincerely do you recognize your team and team members?” Recognition doesn’t have to be a party - and please don’t start an ‘Employee of the Month’ program because recognizing one person once a month is about as demotivating as you can get. Instead, look for opportunities where you can say to someone, “Your input into this report is amazing” or “You’ve worked really hard on that sales pitch and it shows”. Recognizing someones contribution and/or effort in-the-moment is right up there with some of the best recognition you can offer… ever.

Autonomy

Historically, autonomy in the workplace was largely defined as the opportunity to work from home and seen as a perk – something employees had to deserve. Most leaders now recognize that supporting autonomy can encompasses many things like flexible hours, what to work on, where to sit (if in-office) and even professional development opportunities… as well as the choice to work from home (or perhaps more accurately, working remotely).

Thankfully even the idea that autonomy as a ‘perk’ is being replaced by the reality that most people who work remotely actually are more productive (not less), are more creative, have greater job satisfaction and employee loyalty to mention just a few benefits.

So, as you strive to create a healthy multi-generational workplace culture, look to what flexibility you can offer your employees that will help them. Do they need time to take their kids into daycare before coming to work? Do they love being in the office because it gives them a break from their family and they are naturally extroverted? Is there a project that has nothing to do with their current job that you can assign them to because you know it is related to a career path they aspire to? Those are all healthy examples of how you can incorporate autonomy into your workplace culture.

Coaching / Continuous Learning

Coaching is something every leader should be prepared to do – to both their team and to the individuals they support. Coaching ties in well to a workplace culture that promotes continuous learning, helping the team and the company stay fresh while also helping to create an inclusive, multi-generational workplace culture and to promote both collaborative and inclusive behaviour. In addition, coaching, continuous learning and being inclusive are especially important to Gen Z and Millennials.

I invite you to recognize these two generations enjoy being coached AS WELL AS coaching others, sharing their experience and helping others grow. Reverse coaching and/or reverse mentoring are important opportunities for individual and team motivation. And don’t worry if your employees are working remotely. Help employees meet other employees outside of their immediate circle and build new, meaningful relationships from afar by implementing a virtual mentorship program. These relationships will not only create meaning and benefit for them in part by satisfying our natural need to connect with one another, they will also create new synergies within the company and improve employee productivity and loyalty.

Wondering how to start and who to include? During your one-on-one meetings with each of your team, be sure to ask them how they want to be coached and if they see opportunities where they can give back and coach others.

Opportunity for Advancement

Higher salary and opportunities for advancement have always been high on the list for Boomers and certainly of interest for Generation Xers. Unfortunately for Gen Xers, the economic downturns of the late 1980’s, early 2000’s and then again around 2008/2009 meant that fewer Boomers left the employment market for their expected “Freedom 55”. This meant the career advancement opportunities and higher salaries didn’t materialize as quickly as young Gen Xers expected. Thankfully, Gen Xers are finally getting their chance, even though they are now also competing for leadership positions against bright, well-educated and technologically save Millennials.

It is still worth taking a moment of pause here however because the traditional definition of ‘Opportunity for Advancement’ is shifting. Millennials and Gen Zers don’t only see advancement as a promotion. They also see advancement as opportunities to gain experience and opportunities to broaden their network. So, while an employee may stay in their current position, take time to learn about what they want to learn and where they would like to gain experience because it’s possible you can inspire a very motivated employee by giving them opportunities that are easily within reach and where they actually may be able to add a new point of view.

Conclusion

If you are a leader I urge you to learn as much about everyone you work with and especially people who report to you. What are their wants, needs and preferences as they relate to what they work on, how they like to work, how they like to be rewarded and connected to their preferences specific to working remotely (or not). What are their career aspirations? How can you support workplace training for each of the generations who count on you?

In addition, take a moment to consider your own leadership style and how you support, mentor and coach your team. For example, is your leadership preference lean toward creating a workplace culture where you:

Give team members a lot of autonomy and little supervision - let them come to you when they have questions or need something
Intentionally work at creating a culture of equality, diversity, openness and belonging
Feel you have to have total control and make all (or most) of decisions - especially the critical high-profile decisions
Value collaboration and input from all stakeholders, listen openly, and watch out of biases in order to explore all options before making a decision
Focus on strategy, vision and values while making sure everyone has the resources they need to deliver

There is great value for todays leaders to focus on their soft skills and to know what inspires and motivates themselves and the people around them as they lead and create a multigenerational workplace culture.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

As a Corporate Trainer Bruce Mayhew (of BMC) specialize in customized Time Management Training, Email Etiquette Training, Leadership & New Leadership Development, Generational Differences and other soft skills training solutions in Toronto and across Canada. Bruce is also an Executive Coach to a few select clients.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

October 02, 2020

What is Respect At Work?

October 02, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Respect and Trust go hand-in-hand. They are two of the most important components of a thriving, productive and diverse work environment… and must be shared among your team, suppliers and customers. Without respect and trust being intentional parts of your team development, employees will almost always feel disconnected, be low-producers and have limited employee loyalty. In addition, suppliers will be weary of working with your company and clients just won’t buy and/or refer business.

I’ve written about trust and team development before, so let’s focus on ‘what is respect in the workplace and how we can improve it?’

Let’s begin by noticing that respect is a feeling, but showing respect to someone is an action. Showing respect at work lets people know at an emotional level that they are valued. Nobody wants to feel they don’t matter or that the work they do isn’t important / respected.

We don’t have to agree with someone to treat them with respect and appreciate their knowledge and/or experience. Even if we don’t like someone, we should always be dignified because any negative behaviour on our part will diminished our point of view if others feel our opinion is based on us not liking the other person versus our experience.

How We Can Show Others Respect In The Workplace:

Acknowledge them or as they say in the movie ‘Avatar’, “I see you.”
Encourage people to bring their whole selves to work, embrace diversity
Be transparent with your goals, values and resources
Be aware of any conscious or unconscious biases you may be experience – and help others do the same
Listen to others with an open mind – turn off autopilot
Be curious, ask questions (evaluation is healthy), but still remain open-minded and polite
Recognize generational differences and how people from different generations add to the conversation
Recognize cultural differences and how people from different places and backgrounds add to the conversation
Delegate work and opportunities across the whole team, based on criteria like skill and interest
Offer support, even when you have nothing to gain
Inspire and reinforce others using intrinsic and extrinsic, verbal and non-verbal motivators
Recognize different people are rewarded by different things (Competency, Autonomy, Purpose, Impact)
Tap into your empathy and be aware of what others are feeling and needing… but not sharing verbally

Having disagreements is almost always a sign of a healthy relationship. It shows people feel comfortable to share their thoughts and unique experiences. And for this to be healthy everyone has to realize that disagreement doesn’t have to be steeped in conflict or disrespect. What is important is everyones ability to show respect and be able to listen to each others input in line with the agreed upon goals and shared values versus personal beliefs.

The thing is, when we show others respect and when we openly listen to them, most people – even people who are confrontational will most likely pull back and begin showing you and others respect (noting I said most people and most likely). When this does happen, it’s possible that over time a respectful relationship can be built or rebuilt.

Real Example: I coached a leader who took over a department and was having a challenging time with a leader from another department. Historically, my clients’ predecessor and the other leader didn’t work well together. My client started slowly; taking time to listen to the other leader, be transparent with their goals and share relevant information. It took some time and there were a few bumps along the way, but mutual respect and trust was built, which made everyone’s work easier, helped both teams be more productive and overall work for everyone was less stressful and more enjoyable.

For the record, the leader from the other department likely initially felt two types of disrespect:

Owed Respect: Respect (or disrespect) of the work and/or contribution of their group or team
Earned Respect: Respect (or disrespect) of their own work and/or contribution (including leadership)

Part of having a respectful space is to know that from time to time there may be disagreement. To overcome disagreements in a respectful way it’s important for everyone to know the plan is to always share when you are not feeling respected and valued. Knowing in advance that from time-to-time there may be situations that require a difficult conversation, can be healthy because it demonstrates a learning-based corporate culture dedicated to growth versus negative confrontations where people feel attacked and blindsided and often lead to broken relationships.

Conclusion:

People often say, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” I say no. Instead, treat other people the way they want to be treated. Part of showing respect at work means rewarding people the way they want to be rewarded. As I mentioned earlier, there are four main ways people feel reward (Competency, Autonomy, Purpose, Impact). Using myself as an example, the only way to know how which of these four is my preferred motivator is to talk with me – get to know me. If Autonomy is my key motivator and I have a leader who rewards me with Purpose or Impact there will be a gap – and that gap is likely to grow over time as I don’t feel understood and respected.

Companies that have a respectful workplace almost always are more successful, more creative and more resilient / responsive to their market in large part because employees are satisfied with their work and are proud of the company.

Life is messy. Let’s stay open and embrace it all.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

September 29, 2020

How I Help Leaders Explore How Leadership Has Changed

September 29, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

The following are an edit of my notes from a Podcast interview I gave about leadership and how to develop an energized corporate culture with motivated, inspired employees.

Because of the length of my notes, this is Part 1 of what will be a two-part series.

Please enjoy… and watch out for Part 2. Also, please consider liking and leaving comments below.

How I Help Leaders

I help new and experienced leaders understand how leadership has changed over the years and how they may be able to do better. There have been important changes in how to approach leadership especially in the three important areas of; coaching your team, motivation versus inspiration, and how to create a diverse and thriving corporate culture. I help clients and conference attendees explore their experiences and ask important questions of themselves and the world around them by creating a safe space where learning is important.

I see leaders fitting within a couple of buckets. There are:

Leaders who have been around for 30 or more years and who came into leadership when everyone around them was just like themselves. Their co-workers and customers wanted the same things so it was easy to understand what someone else expected. They lived in a world where the leader was the boss, laptop computers were a novelty and the size of small suitcases, email was a new communication tool that few people had access to, and unless you were a sales person the only way you could be productive was to be ‘at work’ where you had a desk, a phone and likely a secretary and/or access to a typing pool. Even voicemail was a new thing.
Young leaders who have grown up in a very different world than their parents and likely their initial role-models. They see a world where everyone has a voice (or should), is constantly connected by the internet, their mobile phones have more memory and processing power than the Apollo 11 guidance computer – a spacecraft that landed on the moon in 1972 (source: RealClear Science), empowering information is only a Google search and YouTube video away, and where choice and individuality are not only robust, they are expected and most people correctly recognize diversity as an empowering asset.

I believe exploring and acknowledging these differences and the generational differences in the workplace is important, not to marginalize anyone but because it is important for each of us to understand the world we live in and then recognize the world we came from. Before we can begin to understand others we have to understand ourselves and our experiences. And for leaders, understanding our own perspective and our experiences really matters in how we lead, mentor, coach and inspire the people that depend on us.

The interesting component here is that when Boomers and Generation X raised their Millennial and Generation Z children, they told their kids they could do anything and have anything and not to compromise. Then when these generations entered the workplace their, Boomer and Generation X leaders often interpret their curiosity and independence as entitlement and wonder, “Why they can’t just sit at their desk and do the work I’m telling them to do?” even though Millennials and Generation Z are behaving exactly how their parents raised them.

So, as a Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach I help leaders of all ages see how the world has changed and explore research I share with them as well as their own experiences to help understand what motivates individuals from all generations in the workplace. Motivators like having a purpose, personal growth, making a difference, feeling like they are contributing and wanting to have fun at work are all the elements of a thriving corporate culture that inspires employees. It’s important to note that while approaches to leadership are changing, Boomers are not used to thinking this way (I say this as a Boomer). No fault of our own. When they were young most Boomers didn’t work to have a purpose and be inspired, they went to work to get a paycheck so they could get a house and provide for their family. Work for a Boomer was often separate from their life but for Millennials and Gen Z… and even some Gen Xers, all of it is integrated.

The beauty is that most people no matter what generation they are from can tap into this concept pretty easily because it makes sense and is empowering. They can reflect on what they feel and want themselves as well as what they see their employees asking for. The people I work with or the audiences I present to also recognize that seeing something and being able to implement it are two different things – but change is possible. For all of us to change means we have to break our old habits (or expectations) about being a boss… and with desire, attention and often a bit of guidance change happens and is wonderful for everyone.

This is the base line of where I start. I help clients and/or conference attendees take the next step to realize difference is ok; that great leaders use that difference and use each other’s strengths. That the world is far too complex and great leaders embrace the diversity of:

· Four different generations being in the workforce (age diversity).

· People being equal regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.

· Cultural and religious differences.

· Disability / Ability.

Being a great leader requires taking time to reflect on ourselves and the environment we want to create. It’s being a coach who believes that one of their primary goals is to empower and inspire their employees to be their best and to do their own work.

Conclusion - and prelude to Part 2.

To be a great leader we have to be able to create an empowered corporate culture that gives people space to contribute their ideas while they also learn, grow and be proud of what they are contributing… and the difference they and the company are making together. Great leaders build a corporate culture that is truly based on the values of the organization then that creates a space where trust and motivation and respect become a common environment. Part of that is hiring the right people… and that is one of the key focuses I’ll discuss in part 2.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed. Please leave a comment if have a moment.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

September 15, 2020

How Your Virtual Body Language Impacts Your Personal And Professional Brand

September 15, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Like many ‘business buzz-words’ I believe the term digital body language is evolving to include virtual body language. One of the first references I found of digital body language is the 2010 book by Steven Woods called ‘Digital Body Language’. Loosely speaking, this is what Steven calls the online viewing history you and I create when visiting and interacting with different websites. The idea was, and still is that our online history (digital body language) can be analyzed and interpreted by organizations with sophisticated marketing departments to predict what our present and future wants, needs and reactions may be. To give you an example, I think we have all noticed that shortly after we’ve done some online research about a potential purchase, the next thing we know that item begins to show up in our Facebook advertising feed.

How digital body language evolved.

The evolution of the phrase ‘digital body language’ now also refers to the often-unintentional tone our readers ‘read’ from every email or instant message (IM) we write. This is what many people call our virtual communication, and therefore, our ‘virtual body language’. Every time you and I send an email or IM our readers instantly and often unconsciously interpret our message many different ways but they generally fall into four different areas:

Helpful / Supportive
Respectful / Honest
Pushy / Demanding
Dismissive

In other words, every email or instant message we write impacts our personal and professional reputation.

Is Our Virtual Body Language Really A Big Deal?

Yes, this is a big deal. How many email do you write and respond to every day? Studies show most professionals send and respond to between 50 and 250 email a day, often addressed to multiple people; this doesn’t even consider all of the instant messages. The result is that every week your email alone are likely making thousands of impressions with coworkers, suppliers and customers. In other words, your virtual communication and / or virtual body language is building your brand / your reputation every time you hit send. Hopefully you are writing with that in mind.

Still not convinced this is a big deal? Take a moment to consider how may messages you receive that sound vague, bossy, rude and/or read like one long disorganized thought. I bet you get more than a few each day and I bet they also often come from the same people. Now, what is your opinion of these people? Do you rush to read their email and go out of your way to help them? The end result is that their virtual body language negatively impacts their performance and their success… even if they don’t even know it.

In short, the reputation we build over time is either favourable or unfavourable and it will impact our immediate and long-term career success. And, with more of us now working remotely and now also routinely using video calls, the impressions we make is more important than ever.

The success of the companies we work for depends on its reputation, and in many of the same ways the virtual brand you create is critically important to your professional future; it matters what others think of you. Being good at your job isn’t good enough anymore. To excel in this fast-paced, technology driven world, the people we work with have to trust us and feel that we respect them, their time and their expertise/experience.

Now that we agree every email and IM we write makes an impression and whether we mean it or not, the million dollar question is, “Do you intentionally write a positive (or at least neutral) message?” If we are not paying attention to how our readers may interpret our message it is highly likely at least some of our messages sound vague, bossy, rude and/or read like one long disorganized thought.

Conclusion

Companies spend amazing fortunes to control their brand and align it with the company’s values. Unfortunately every employee may be unintentionally undermining their and the company’s digital brand every time they click ‘Send’. This is where Email Etiquette Training is important and can help team members support their own reputation as well as the companies brand.

I don’t think it matters if we call how we communicate digital body language, virtual body language or virtual brand. The important thing is that every time we hit send on an email, instant message or every time we participate in a video call that we recognize others are quickly deciding if we are one-hundred different things. Are your email professional, knowledgeable, trustworthy, respectful, helpful, collaborative, dependable… or are we writing email and IM that are toxic, demanding, disrespectful of others time and needs, working with a hidden agenda, self-centered and egotistical? And, what reputation are we also building for our company?

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

September 08, 2020

How To Keep Your Team Inspired And Proud Of Their Contribution

September 08, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

More and more people are working from home and feeling isolated, disconnected and even forgotten. And, whether we realize it or not even those of us who love working from home and are thrilled to not have to deal with the commute, expensive food-court coffee and ‘office politics’ are almost certainly missing some of the brainstorming, creativity, information sharing and learning that routinely and often informally (and formally) happens when we are in an office together.

The net result of the isolation and disconnect we feel is that as time goes by we begin feeling less motivated and less excited about our work. Sure, we know we are working hard in our newly fashioned home office or the dining room table, but as we sit alone we begin to silently wonder, “Am I really making a difference, is my effort relevant / important and does my boss see the value I bring to the team?”

This is where we as leaders need to make sure we are doing right by the people we are responsible for… and frankly… are by extension doing right for ourselves and the organization we serve. This is where we as leaders have to make sure that whether people are working in an office or at home that they are recognized for the contribution they are providing, especially if they have had to relocate (due to COVID-19 or a new company-wide directive) and working from home is not their choice.

So as leaders, I offer you the three ways how to keep your team inspired and proud of their contribution.

Task 1. Let Others Lead

Just because we are a leader it doesn’t mean we have to lead every project. This is a common trap many leaders, especially new leaders fall into. Sadly, they also often feel burnt-out because of it.

It’s important leaders show our employees we trust them and give them confidence they have what it takes to run a project or a team meeting. Perhaps we don’t even go to the meeting but instead get updates from the person who is the lead. Another thing we can do is try to go a whole meeting without talking – except perhaps to give others encouragement for good ideas or for making good points. One of the most demoralizing things we can do as a leader is to always be the person who always makes the first and last point.

Task 2. Recognize Contribution

Make sure our team members (and our teams) know their contributions are being noticed… and appreciated / respected. Make sure they know they are making a difference and that their work – their contribution has purpose. Because we are working remotely, when we are on a video call and one of our team makes a good point or adds to the conversation – say, “Patrick, that is a good point” or“I agree with Margaret”. Recognizing someone’s contribution or effort doesn’t mean there has to be a big celebration, it can be really simple, and sometimes simple is the best and feels the most sincere.

If our top talent is not getting the recognition they deserve, we can’t be surprised when they start quitting or looking to be transferred to another department. This is a serious challenge because good talent islikelydifficult and costly to replace and retrain. This is doubly unfortunate since saying “Patrick, that is a good point” or“I agree with Margaret” doesn’t cost a cent and has looong lasting value.

Task 3. Every Employee Is Unique

Recognize everyone is different. We can’t motivate and reward people the same way we want to be rewarded. And, if we have two people doing the same job, don’t be surprised they have completely different motivation and recognition needs from each other. We know this is true, especially if we have children or siblings. It is totally common for siblings to have very different needs – and they grew up in the same household.If you are a parent ask yourself “Are they motivated by and interested in the same things?”My guess is no.

Need more convincing? With four generations in the workforce it is highly likely that some of our team may be single and newly out of school while others may be having their first child and / or buying their first house. Some may be sending their kids away to university while others may suddenly need to manage a sick partner or aging parents. Now more than ever, we are recognizing different people have different needs and those needs may change completely next week.

The only way we are going to be able to keep your team inspired and proud of their contribution (while building trust, improving performance and employee retention) is to get to know each of our team. We do this by having one-on-one status meetings with each employee at least once a month, or better yet, every two weeks along with our regular team meetings.

Imagine how an employee is going to feel when we take the time to get to know. As I said earlier, this will inspire most employees with greater – longer-felt results than a monetary bonus.

Conclusion.

To keep your team inspired and proud of their contribution, leaders have to always balance the corporate needs with their employees personal and professional needs (and fears); always! Inspiring their team starts with getting very familiar with the company values because these are the values and behaviours we want people to demonstrate.

If we are starting to build our team from scratch, we have to be sure we hire people who demonstrate those values as well as the strategic competencies we are looking for. My opinion, weigh those values as high or higher than tactical competencies. Skills are often far easier to teach than values… unfortunately, in the past business has mostly hired for skill not values and therefore cultural fit. Then, once we have hired the right people, reward those values regularly.

If we are working with an existing team, our goal has to be to encourage them to bring out those values in every aspect of their work. This may mean we have to change our corporate culture to reward and inspire often and in real-time. An equally important part will be to encourage our team to reward each other. Praise and inspiration should not only come from us – it needs to become a regular part of the corporate / team culture.

Earlier I discussed one-on-one meetings. When you are having one-on-one meetings with your employees, two questions you can ask them to get a better idea of what is important to them and what their motivators are can be:

Looking into the next month, what would you like to get better at and how can I help you?
Is there a project that interests you that we may be able to include you on or do you have a special project you have in mind that we may be able to include in your objectives?

This will usually help employees be more engaged, self-motivated and as a result, more productive.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

August 31, 2020

What Are Soft Skills?

August 31, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Soft skills are some of the most important skills we can have. More and more of the top companies are recognizing that by exploring the power of soft skills is where / how a company really can thrive and demonstrate their corporate values.

I am not surprised at all that when we look at soft skills, many of the top ones are also found when looking at many companies’ corporate values. For example:

Communication Skills
Empathy and Compassion
Teamwork
Creative thinking
Adaptability
Dependability
Listening Skills
Teamwork
Work ethic
Leadership (made up of motivation, time management and many others)

The reason hard skills have been so popular is because they are easy to measure and there is little room for ‘interpretation’… which means it is easy to predict outcome and streamline performance. On the other hand, soft skills are largely intangible and difficult to quantify… but this doesn’t make them any less important.

While trust in a person’s skill is one thing, soft skills help build trust in a person’s character and when these skills are shared among the team, soft skills build trust in a supportive office culture. And now, in today’s ultra-competitive world with four generations in the workplace (and sometimes five), when we look at some of the best, most successful leaders, nearly all have many qualities including… an awareness of and skill in exercising their soft skills.

Conclusion:

Without a doubt, in today’s workspaces, because soft skills demonstrate how we communicate with colleagues and customers, how we manage our time, how we solve difficult solve problems, and overall how we manage our work, soft skills are important for all work at all levels.

Question:

Now that we’ve discussed many of the most important of them, which of them are you most skilled at using… and perhaps more importantly, let me ask you this, “What soft skills do you need to exercise a bit more than you currently do?” Remember, your most important job is to stand out by doing your job well and gaining a reputation as being trustworthy, dependable and easy to work with.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

August 27, 2020

What To Expect When Using An Executive Coach

August 27, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Knowing what you should expect when using an executive coach and how to choose the right coach to work with is really important to your success.

I offer you my approach to coaching which includes the agreement I strive to reach ahead of time with the people I work with. At the end of this post I also offer some coaching interview questions I try to answer when I fist speak with a potential candidate - whether they ask them or not.

Step 1. Find the coach with the right background:

Finding the right executive coach is like finding the right car. There are many makes and models out there with four wheels (and motorcycles have two and three wheels), so you really have to know what fits your style and goals before you go shopping.

Working with the right coach can help you solve your most pressing leadership challenges – whatever they may be. But anyone can call themselves a coach. There are many aspects to consider when looking for an executive coach. Some people have been trained and have credentials while some do not. Some have extensive experience (as a coach, a strategy builder, and/or a leader through change) while some do not. And now a days many coaches have psychology backgrounds, experience working through stress and/or evaluating psychometric evaluations, all of which may come in handy.

Also, there is lots of previous history you may want (or not want) in your coach that will give them a niche and therefore make them more… or less relevant. For example, I am currently helping an organization find a coach for an ED of a Not-For-Profit. We are realizing that while some experience with Not-For-Profits will likely be good, an executive coach with fundraising experience may actually be a disadvantage because there are specific areas, we want the coach and ED to focus on – and fundraising isn’t one of them.

Once you have a short-list of high-potential coaching candidates that your ‘boss / bosses’ agree can address your needs (your boss / bosses have to be part of the coaching goal definition), now is the time for you - the person being coached to interview each and find the right fit.

Step 2. Manage your expectations:

Coaching means challenging and changing the way you think about some things and the way you approach some situations / people. Coaching is all about changing behaviours – your behaviours, and in some cases those behaviours may have helped you get to where you are today and/or kept you safe. Coaching always means unlearning some of those behaviours and learning new ones. Learning, reflecting and changing is not easy; but it is worthwhile.

Coaching will also help you see some things are in your direct control and some things are outside of your control. Coaching will provide resources and suggestions you can learn from and use to approach challenges and find solutions. Coaching can also help you change a mindset that every leader has to be all knowing and in full control – and instead that being a leader sometimes might mean not getting your way but instead being OK realizing you have to find another path… one in which you may also have to empower and support others.

Other times, working with a coach means having a safe place to discuss the problem with someone who is so knowledgeable from a business perspective. Often, the right coach can instead of giving you answers, ask you the right questions and help you find an appropriate solution.

Step 3. Find the right style:

Just because you find the coach you like, the coach may not want to work with the client (or perhaps the leadership team). Any great coach is going to make sure you are ready, willing and able. Coaching means change – and if you are stuck in your current paradigm and only want someone to support and maybe even reinforce your way of thinking, I am sure you will find that person. Frankly, it sounds like an easy paycheck. But great coaches are interested in change – moving the needle, helping people stretch and feel uncomfortable and most importantly… grow.

All that said, I’m not sure I can describe style in much detail except to say most coaches are teachers who support their training with coaching. Teaching may include reading, videos and even attending conferences. Teaching may also be done during the coaching session and with time allocated for discussion of the client is interpreting the information and how it may be used by them. Coaching can continue in following weeks – building upon the clients’ experience and often feelings. For the coaching to be effective, fit and style are important since the client will sometimes have to share information and feelings that are personal.

Step 4. Set coaching up for success:

Before a final decision is made, allgreat coaches, no matter what their style will establish clear goals in advance between themselves, the coaching client and the leader/leadership team who govern’ the client (like a board of directors). Everyone needs to clearly understand the goals are realistic and something that they can – and want to work on. Once that is done, success must also include being clear on:

Coach and client meet between weekly and monthly.
What happens if one or both begin letting meetings slip?
Everyone to agree in advance that progress / growth should be measured every four to six meetings and be discussed with the coach, client and leader/leadership team. A wrap-up session is also important in order to review and reflect on progress and possible next steps.
- Progress / growth discussions and key items worked on are evaluated and shared – not personal experiences / information.
How will goals be measured – what metrics will everyone use, because they should all be in alignment. A 360-degree assessment is a good / common baseline.
Results should be able to be experienced, seen and measured quickly… even after the first meeting.
Coaches who are somewhat different from their client are often better. Good coaches know how to build relationships of trust and respect. Being different (but still relatable), means the coach is able to offer truly different ideas — the kinds of ideas the client may not be able to see for themselves or have brought to their attention by their current support network.

At every meeting cover two of the following three things:

1. Executive Development & Leadership Growth:

Awareness and discussion of gap
Challenges that arise from gap
Opportunity / Benefits from growth
Identify and discussion of weaknesses
- How to minimize weaknesses (find other solutions)
- How to build on strengths

2. Discuss and problem solve a tactical challenge you are facing:

Evolving from being a boss to being a Leader
Evolving from being a manager to being a Leader
A difficult conversation
Strategic a business decision
How to support you team to live the values of the organization in everything they do
Resistance to change
HR: Does not demonstrate Respect, Trust, Performance and a non-Passive Aggressive Employee Nature (others and/or self) and/or behaviour out of step with organization values, procedures or governance

3. Future Vision:

Strategic Vision of the organization and or a department
Change Management
Where you see yourself in the future
How you see the world

Interview Questions for Selecting A Coach

Whether you are the client or leader/leadership team, these are sample questions you may want to ask the coach as you are doing your assessment. These questions will help round-out and give some structure to your conversation and help give you some concrete answers to why you think you could or could not work with a specific coach. Going on just ‘gut-feeling’ alone will likely not satisfy the client being coached – and especially the leader / leadership team since they will have to justify the time and expense of the coaching processes.

“Why did you become a coach?”
“What is your coaching specialty?”
“What makes you happy / brings you joy?”
“How will I (or my employee) get the most value out of working with you?”
“Have you ever had to fire a client?”
1. “What happened?” (without names)
“Please share an example where a client had great success?”
1. “What happened?” (without names)
“How will I (or my employee) get the most value out of working with you?”
“What are the most important traits / behaviours of a great leader?”
“What is your background (professionally or otherwise) that is relevant to you being a coach?
“Your coaching credentials are…?”

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

July 13, 2020

Why And How Employee Engagement Is Important To Success

July 13, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

In 1973 sociologist Mark Granovetter reasoned that healthy societies are supported by “strong ties” (important and well-known relationships like family and close friends), and also “weak ties” (casual, often disbursed relationships like neighbours, favourite waiter/waitress and many work relationships). He also hypothesized about “absent ties” witch we will not discuss at this time.

Screen Shot 2020-07-13 at 2.02.19 PM.png

During these times of social distancing and large-scale working from home, the loneliness and isolation many of us are feeling is proving that all of our relationships are important to our personal well-being. I challenge the relationships many of us are not experiencing now are also very important to our professional success and well-being.

One of the most efficient ways employees create happy, trusting relationships is through much of the informal contact we have with each other. Pre-pandemic, most of us took for granted the opportunities working in an office created for team members to get to know each other. You may have also noticed over the last few months how many decisions were actually made while speaking with an associate on your way to a meeting or as you went for lunch or to ‘grab’ an afternoon coffee. And now, because we are working from home those opportunities are gone unless we intentionally find new ways to have those informal meetings and discussions.

As remote working (not to mention social distancing), becomes part of what I believe will be our a new norm, I believe there is real risk to each employee’s personal job satisfaction and productivity and therefore their and the organization’s success. Why? Because many of our “strong ties” and “weak ties” as Mark Granovetter calls them are at risk of becoming even weaker… or disappearing altogether.

Strong Times Are Important, But Weak Ties Help Us Grow

You and I are naturally exposed to new ideas and perspectives as we meet new people and build new “weak ties”. This helps us challege our preconceptions and foster innovation and its diffusion. In essence, these weak ties are safe places where we can first learn about and explore new ideas without risking our social status within our more important relationships. Without these ties we risk becoming isolated, myopic in our perspective and out of touch with social (and technological) progress as we interact only with people who look, act and think like we do.

As individuals, intentionally broadening our weak ties is good for our mental wellbeing. It is also good to help us to evolve into healthy members of our community. As employees, intentionally broadening our weak ties is also a way to grow professionally and, as we are promoted, to increase our social status. I think it’s worth reflecting on an old saying that, “It’s not what you know it’s who you know… and who knows you.” Often it is our weak ties that provide us experiences and opportunities that informally (at least at first) lead to career promotions.

Solution:

As leaders, we have to intentionally provide opportunities for our team members to build relationships - even the ones who may not work closely together every day. Whether our employees are working from home all the time, part of the time or not at all, it’s a company’s and leader’s responsibility to create a corporate culture that provides opportunities for everyone to build strong ties and weak ties.

The options are limited by our imagination. Possible solutions could be:

Creating dynamic, interactive spaces at the office like a fun lunchroom with large, shared picnic tables to help employees build weak ties.
Holding daily team updates where everyone participates online whether they are in the office or working virtually.
Encourage each other to pick up the phone when you have a quick question - replicating how you might call over a partition if you were in the office. This means team members also have to get into the habit of answering the phone… something many of us are not good at.
Providing flexibility so employees can choose a schedule that balances work with their family obligations (which have increased during the Covid-19 pandemic).

In addition to the above, team-based employee development opportunities and sharing learning experiences are a brilliant way to build weak ties within an organization. Study after study proves employees want a chance to learn, grow and thrive in their career of choice. Consider your own past. Lack of professional development opportunities is one of the primary reasons employees leave their current job / employer. Learning means advancement and advancement often means making more money and a higher social standing. Investing in our employees is the perfect way to improve employee’s satisfaction, increase productivity and build trusting relationships with employees who will be loyal to you and your organization.As leaders of great companies and great teams, it’s important to make sure we give our most important assets meaningful development opportunities that meet with their (not your) personal and professional goals.

As individuals, we have to be really intentional about making sure we are seen and heard. It means we have a personal responsibility to make sure we are getting in front of all kinds of people at all levels. While it would be lovely if building weak ties at work were a partnership, the reality is the bulk of the responsibility for building our weak ties is our own. The important thing is to do it. And remember that all relationships are important; someone who is not strategically important today may become a very strategically positioned advocate tomorrow.

Now more than ever businesses are moving into a place that allow employees to shine. Workplaces are flatter and many projects have greater team involvement and team collaboration. This translates into greater opportunity for employees to ask to get involved with projects that interest them, provide learning and career development, provide exposure to more people (build a greater network by building more weak ties) and of course… use our existing skills to add to make a difference. This last part is important. When any of us join a project team at work we have to be prepared to contribute 110%. This may mean doing some less glamourous work and not only the work we ‘want’ to do or that will show off our specialty. This approach will allow even long-term employees to build great relationships while learning about everything from new markets to new technology to… anything. But here is the thing, sometimes when we work on less glamourous / less exciting work we might cut corners or even complain. Don’t. This is our chance to show we are a team player who takes pride in our work and are proud to be part of the team no matter what.

BONUS

Leadership Tips

As a leader, especially a leader of a virtual team, it’s important to find ways to build this familiarity with each other even though some… or all of you are working remotely. Three things you can do to support this:

Have one-on-one meetings with each of your direct reports at least once every two weeks. Learn what their goals are. Discuss what challenges they may be having at work. If they ask for it, give them some coaching / mentoring.
Point out where and how they are succeeding and exceeding expectations. When you are clear about the behaviour you find important you are more likely to see that behaviour / work again… and perhaps with even greater success. Also, by showing you are noticing you are helping your employee be proud of their effort and the quality of their work which means, you are likely going to get even more in the future.
Make sure each person not only is proud of their accomplishments, make sure they see they are part of something bigger than themselves and are proud with that the team and even the organization are doing.

Thanks for reading.

If i can help you in any way, please let me know. Click HERE to link to my professional development website.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

May 19, 2020

How Autonomy Leads To Motivated Employees

May 19, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

First, lets start with four positive motivators you and I can integrate into our day-to-day work environments and meetings that often lead to motivated employees and increased work performance. They are:

Play at work improves creativity, decreases stress and builds stronger relationships between team members and even suppliers and customers. In addition, play has been proven to lower healthcare costs and improve employee loyalty.
Purpose is one of the best ways to develop employee engagement. When people know that what they are working on is important, they are usually more attentive - and (if your culture embraces it), more creative.
Competency / Mastery is a great motivator for individuals who want to learn and grow. When in the office people learn from each other or when organized professional development training is brought in. When employees are remote it is easy to forget the importance of skills development. Webinars and online training are always good options for remote workers.
Autonomy is aligned with feelings of independence and trust. Employees who feel they have control ownership of what they do and when they do it are happier, more committed, more productive and more loyal.

And if I left it there you would be in great shape to be able to begin using these four techniques. Since working from home is something many of us have to do - and it’s likely going to be part of our work-life-balance from now on, lets take a closer look at how autonomy encourages a culture of motivated employees.

1. Be Clear With Expectations:

Your employees have to know what you expect of them and how they can count on you. To be clear with expectations also share why their work – the project or task you are asking them to work on is important. Knowing why something is important gives them and their work a greater sense of purpose and direction… and therefore gives them a greater sense of responsibility.

2. Build a Culture of Trust:

Show your team you trust them and they are important part of your team by delegating project to them, asking for (and taking) their advice and encouraging them to be creative. When employees always feel ‘it is your way or no way’ then they start shutting down. If you receive a project from them, don’t word-smith it based on ‘your style’ versus ‘their style’, unless you are seriously making it better or adding additional insight. If you or they are new to the idea of autonomy, start small and gradually increase the importance or complexity of the projects. Another way is to partner them up with another team member.

3. Help Individuals and Teams Learn From Mistakes:

Roll up your coaching sleeves. When mistakes happen encourage them to come to you quickly / early. When they do, don’t look for blame – help them be creative and together… find solutions. When the problem is solved, continue working with them to explore what went wrong, what they learned and what can be done differently next time. Leaders who look for blame kill not only one person’s initiative but that of the whole team. This also dismantles trust, creativity and employee engagement.

4. Communicate Regularly:

Communicate often with your team as a group and with each individual in separate one-on-one meetings. Get a reputation for being transparent and supportive. Identify industry trends and opportunities with them. They are likely closer to suppliers and customers so encourage them to also share what they see around industry trends and opportunities.

Conclusion:

There is no one-size-fits all with motivating employees. What is right for one person isn’t right for the next; what is right for one team isn’t right for the next. The challenge for leaders is to find the right balance weighting individual needs with organizational and economic factors.

Thanks for reading about how autonomy leads to motivated employees and increased work performance.

If i can help you in any way, please let me know. Click HERE to link to my professional development website.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

April 29, 2020

How To Work From Home With A House Full Of People

April 29, 2020/ Bruce Mayhew

Are you working from home with a house full of people? For many of us our living rooms, dining rooms and bedrooms have become crowded offices for remote work and students of all ages.

Are you experiencing chaos and feeling the stress? Know you are not alone… and know we will all get through this. As someone who helps organizations with leadership, motivation, generational differences and time management I can assure you there are ways to be effective at work, kind to your family and minimize stress.

Lets take a look.

Give Yourself A Break / Give Everyone A Break

First thing I want you to do is give yourself a break… cut yourself some slack. You are going through something that is difficult and it’s taking a toll on all of us. A new Angus Reid survey showed that 50% of Canadians say their mental health is worse since COVID-19. And if you are a woman, you will not be surprised to find that women are most likely to be impacted due to increased stress working from home while also caring for children, partners the household and potentially parents.

That said, everyone in your home is having their schedule and routine completely messed up. And likely everyones physical activity level is down which might mean a bit more unused energy to go along with some of that shared frustration.

My recommendation is to make sure you find some alone time and make sure you find time to get some fresh air and exercise. I don’t mean run a 10K, but I do recommend going for a walk twice a day – either alone or with someone you (still), like.

Come Up With A Plan And Communicate Intentions

Like at work, the best plans are designed with input from everyone. So, have a group discussion. That said, as the leader you need to set the goals and general structure (see below). But talk with everyone about how to implement the recommendations I’m sharing here.

Once you have everyone’s agreement, I recommend putting it in writing. Then, share this document to everyone in the house. In addition, you know the best leaders communicate expectations frequently and in many ways because different people absorb information differently. So, do the same at home with your family regarding the expectations everyone needs to support.

After some time with the plan, revisit. Work has changed – their schoolwork has changed. You are all getting used to different things. You may all have ideas how to make things better. Be the great leader who shows flexibility and great listening skills… just like you do with your team at work.

At Home Create Work-Free / School-Free Space

Everyone needs to have a safe place. Perhaps it is everyone’s bedroom. Perhaps it’s the family room. Try not to make it the kitchen – because your fridge and pantry will be calling the whole time.

Whatever works for the household – hold that rule true. That includes no checking your work smartphone and answering email at 10PM while watching a movie.

This space should be a place of fun and rest. Watch movies, do family puzzles, play games, join in on online-painting or sign-along groups. As a family, try to get everyone in here once a day to do some fun group creative activity.

Everyone Has A Desk

Especially working adults need a dedicated desk that they can go to and get away from. 99% of us are going to be most effective if we are at an office-like desk. Having your own space will help you get into a routine and create an environment where you will be least distracted (especially if you are easily distracted).

Kids will do what they want anyway, so let them do what they need. My only recommendation is to not do work or schoolwork in bed. Your body and mind needs to think of your bed as a sanctuary of sleep and low stress – not a place where work is done.

Schedule Time To Help Your Kids

Your kids are at home but their schoolwork still exists. Kids are used to a school routine so try to keep one for them while they are at home. And, know that most of us are at our best after we get a good night sleep – which means we are at our best after we wake up and for about the next six hours.

If you have kids at home, try to get a few hours of work in before they get up which might be easy to do (and really helpful), because kids like to sleep in. Then, work with them for a few hours on their schoolwork. Give them a break where they can play games and let you get a few more hours in at the office.

If you are a two-parent family, find a routine where you can tag-team and share this responsibility. It will be good for your relationship with your kids and give your kids some variability as well which is healthy for them.

In the end, my advice is just an idea. Do what works for your family.

Schedule Breaks

Most people who work from home often work more – not less. They don’t take the breaks they normally would have at work going for coffee or going for lunch. Even the break of walking to a meeting and informal chats with a coworkers are gone. The thing is, these breaks are important for our mental health and our creativity.

My suggestion is when you take a break, do exactly that! Don’t do things that are ‘work’ to you, so if you don’t enjoy doing laundry (and I know some of you do), don’t do that. Instead, put down work and have a cup of tea, take a walk or do something else you enjoy and helps you relax.

And when you can, promote this concept with your co-workers who are also working from home and need a reminder to take a break, especially if you are their leader.

Schedule Your End Of Day

As I mentioned above, people who work from home during times of isolation often work too much. Your body and brain really do need a break, so set quitting times for you and your family to establish boundaries and a routine. A routine will help you and will be even more important for your kids who are used to a routine when they are at school.

Conclusion

Like I said above, avoid judging yourself – or others – on what you can get done each day. All of us are adjusting to a new normal, including your coworker and your kids. Most of all, protect your health.

Thanks for reading about how to work from home with a house full of people.

If i can help you in any way, please let me know. Click HERE to link to my professional development website.

Bruce

About Bruce and Bruce Mayhew Consulting.

Bruce is Corporate Trainer and Executive Coach.

BMC helps your greatest assets think productive and be productive.

Leadership & Communication Must-Read Articles

Accountability Overview

#1. Align people’s passion with their work

#2. Know what motivates and inspires each employee

#3. Be clear with expectations

#4. Help employees understand the question ‘Why’?

#5. Stay in touch

#6. Recognize and celebrate their creativity and success

Conclusion:

BONUS I: Why employees don't take responsibility / accountability:

BONUS II: Hypothetical at-home example that accountability can’t be forced… especially accountability connected to quality:

What Do I Mean By Commitment?

Diving Deeper Into How To Build Commitment

Live The Company Values:

When a team knows they can trust their leader and each-other, that is when they will do their best work… and feel proud an energized at the same time.

Sharing Opposing Views And Making A Decision Can Get Loud

Conflict and Respect Within Difficult Conversations At Work

Conclusion

A productive team trusts each other.

How To Develop Productive Trustworthy Teams

11 Ways To Create A Safe, Trusting Workplace Culture

BONUS: Trust Helps When Hearing Bad News

Conclusion

What Makes A Bully Become A Bully?

What Happens When We Are Bullied?

Conclusion:

An Organization Must Be Proactive To Stand Against Bullying

1. Bullying Education

2. Include Everyone In Defining, Updating And Reviewing Policies

3. Set Up Allies For Victims: Different Avenues For Escalation / Discussion

Conclusion:

Education Is Important

Recognize the Difference Between Performance Management Versus Bullying

The Impact of Reverse Bias

Disrespect / Bullying:

Performance Management:

Bullying Not Accepted

Conclusion:

Assemble Step 1. Be Polite

Assemble Step 2. Don’t Make Writing Complicated

Assemble Step 3. Write Sentences With Benefits First

Conclusion:

Changing Our Approach:

Start With Connection:

Practice Your First Sentence:

Conclusion:

What We Can Make Sure We Are Doing

What We Can Make Sure We Are Not Doing

Recognition

Coaching / Continuous Learning

Opportunity for Advancement

Conclusion

How We Can Show Others Respect In The Workplace:

Conclusion:

How I Help Leaders

Task 1. Let Others Lead

Task 2. Recognize Contribution

Task 3. Every Employee Is Unique

Conclusion.

Conclusion:

Question:

Strong Times Are Important, But Weak Ties Help Us Grow

Solution:

1. Be Clear With Expectations:

2. Build a Culture of Trust:

3. Help Individuals and Teams Learn From Mistakes:

4. Communicate Regularly:

Conclusion:

Give Yourself A Break / Give Everyone A Break

Come Up With A Plan And Communicate Intentions

At Home Create Work-Free / School-Free Space

Everyone Has A Desk

Schedule Time To Help Your Kids

Schedule Breaks

Schedule Your End Of Day

Conclusion

Bruce Mayhew Consulting

How Can We Help?

Customize Your Leadership & Communication Training From The Following Workshops